War Aftermath
by Shattered Relampago
Summary: War can leave deep and dark scares. Harry carries more than most. This story briefly explores the aftermath of war and a blossoming romance. Story will only be 10-12 chapters long. H&D: Self Harm Warning! This will be a darker fic. Some OOC.
1. Chapter One: Confusion Abundant

**A/N: This is a repost. I realize I need a beta, as I have messed up a few things. For one, I kept calling the Hogwarts train a bus for some reason. Also, I was calling Slughorn Slugworm… and I alternated between Harry having his own room and him being in the dorm. For the story's sake, he is in the dorm for the first two chapters at least, and I have adjusted the story so it seems so. If you would like to beta for me and keep me working at a faster pace, please let me know!**

**Chapter One: Confusion Abundant**

A lone child wandered on the platform of nine and three quarters, waiting for the train to Hogwarts. He was very nondescript. Brown hair framed a round face with quiet brown eyes. He wore a plain gray sweater and khaki pants. By any guess, he appeared around twelve years old. He stood by one pillar then slowly moved to another, back and forth. He had no goal or purpose. He merely wandered as he waited. On occasion he overheard some of the other arriving families.

"Now that he-who-can't-be-named is gone, Hogwarts must be bursting with applications! The school of Harry Potter!"

"Mum, do you think we'll see Harry Potter on the train?"

"Hey Dad, have you ever seen Harry Potter here before?"

"…Harry Potter…"

"…he-who-can't-be-named…war…Harry Potter…hero…"

"…war…Harry…marry him…"

"…Potter…have his baby…"

"…shag Potter… so delic'…"

Everyone had the war or Harry Potter on the tip of their tongue. The boy scowled at the mindless chatter. He made his way to the front of the platform and prayed the train would arrive soon. Oddly, lady luck smiled on him and the train's whistle could be heard coming from around the bend. In seconds it had pulled up and opened its doors. The young lad hurried aboard, his trunk was shrunk and in his pocket for the trip. He had already sent his owl ahead.

"Where's Harry?"

From where he hid in the luggage compartment, he could hear the offending drawl of Ginny Weasley. The resentment he held for her was almost on par with the resentment he had held for Voldemort.

'Why am I even bothering with the train? Why not just apparate to the gate and walk in? Oh, right, not 'licensed' yet.'

"Maybe he left early. After all, I am positive he had things to discuss with Headmistress McGonagall about his rooming situation."

"What situation, 'Mione?"

"You remember, Ron, how he wanted his own room?"

"His own room? Mmm… maybe I should call on him when we get there…"

"Ginny, leave Harry alone. He needs some space right now. Plus, we don't know for sure yet if he will get the separate room or not."

"You can't tell me what to do, Granger!"

"Genny, she didn't mean it that way…"

"Oh, of course, stick up for your girlfriend, never mind your SISTER!"

The conversation had been escalating in volume, but it was rather abruptly silenced. Not a single word came from the nearby cabin.

'Mione and her privacy wards. Thank Merlin she shut the cow up at least.'

It was a long ride to Hogwarts for the boy. His legs were cramped from being under luggage for so long. He was buried under bags some student had brought.

'Thankfully not everyone believes in trunks. It would be hard to hide under those.'

As the train slowed down for the imminent stop, he climbed out from under the bags. He flicked his wrist and his robes materialized on his frame. They were almost falling off, as his current shape was smaller than his actual shape. It had been a literal pain to transfigure himself into a smaller frame, but it had been well worth it. Not a single person had recognized or approached him on the platform. He left the baggage room. As he walked through the door he bumped into a solid figure.

"Oh, sorry about that, I wasn't looking…"

He trailed off as he raised his eyes to see who he had bumped into and saw the steel eyes of Draco Malfoy. There was something off with his appearance though, and he couldn't place what it was exactly.

"Please watch where you are going next time. I am Draco, and you are?"

His eyes widened slightly in surprise. Thee Draco Malfoy had used only his first name. True many people hated the Malfoy name now, but he had been pardoned. What was different about his face?

"Hello? Are you there?"

He stood up and shook Draco's extended hand. Draco shook his with an odd look on his face. Draco was confused. The boy had yet to say his name.

"Not to sound too repetitive, but I am Draco… and you are?"

'What should I tell him? I really don't want to lie to him. I've done enough lying. I'm tired of it. Tired of so much…"

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone else."

Draco tilted his head slightly to the side, confused more. "Now you have piqued my interest. I will play along though, I promise."

The boy smiled for the first time this year it seemed. He flicked his wrist and his eyes morphed from brown to a vibrant emerald green, "The name's Harry, or as you have often preferred, bloody Potter." He winked mischievously at Draco and slipped by him and off the train. He quickly made his way up to the school. His mood had lifted slightly. He had finally shook Draco's hand. He had always wondered what would have happened if he had taken the boy's hand his first year. Would he have been able to save Draco from becoming a Death Eater? Would Dumbledore still be alive? Did Harry inadvertently cause Dumbledore's death?

His brightened mood fell back into their previous depths. He needed to get to his room already. He needed to be free of this guilt and pain. He needed release. He needed his blade.

---

A bewildered Draco stood in the doorway of the train. His usual mask was forgotten. His entire face clearly displayed his shock and confusion. Eyebrows were raised. His mouth motioned up and down again. He had shaken hands with the boy who lived. He had been talking to Harry bloody Potter and hadn't even recognized him. How could he have fooled him so completely?

Harry had shaken his hand too, with a smile on his face! He had transfigured his eyes with a mere flick of his wrist! He had known things would be different this year, but he had never dreamt he would receive a friendly reception from freaking Potter. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad this year.

"MOVE, Death Eater SCUM!"

He was roughly shoved from behind, which sent him to his knees on the brick platform. He grunted as he felt the brick tear his silk pants and soft skin. He had obviously thought too soon.

He stood up and brushed himself off and came face to face with none other than Ginny Weasley. 'Oh great, a freaking weasel!"

"Oh Ms. Weasley," Draco said with a sneer, "I would watch how you talk to people. 10 points from Gryffindor for rudeness to a Prefect. Another 10 points from Gryffindor for assaulting a student. Also, 10 points to Slytherin for remaining clam and collected."

"YOU! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

Ginny was red in the face and had clenched her paws into fists when Ron stepped in. "You know what Ginny, another 10 points from Gryffindor for acting like a prat! I don't like the Ferret either, but as a Prefect I can't let you just throw your temper tantrums everywhere, especially in front of other Prefects!"

Ron had moved in front of Draco, who was shocked beyond belief once again. This time though his mask remained in place. The surprise from Harry had been greater somehow, more pleasant. This was just weird. The weasel was defending him against another weasel.

Ginny grunted loud in frustration and stomped away. At this point Hermione stepped up besides Ron and put an arm around him in support before she turned to Draco.

"Our deepest apologies, Prefect Malfoy. We will have the Headmistress talk to her about her tongue later."

"It's Prefect Draco, if you don't mind, and thank you, Prefect Mud.. Granger. Sorry about that."

Hermione and Ron both stared at Draco in confusion. The Malfoy prat had not only asked for them to use his birth name, but he had also stopped himself and apologized from calling 'Mione a mud blood.

"Are you okay, Mal.. Draco?" Hermione's face was pulled together in concern. 'Maybe someone has poisoned him with a mood altering potion?'

"Yes, Granger, and thank you both for your assistance. I could have managed, but it would have been much messier. How about 20 points to Gryffindor for their superb conflict resolution?"

At this Hermione wasn't the only deeply concerned one, Ron's face was muddled with confusion, concern, and more confusion about why he was concerned. "Sure thing, Malfoy."

"Weasel… sorry… Weasley, it's Draco. Not because we are friends or anything, it's my name from here on out. Understand?"

"Okay… Draco. We'll see you at the Prefect meeting tonight."

Ron and Hermione waved slightly and hustled away from Draco and towards Hogwarts. Draco sighed and went back into the storage compartment and located his bags. He shrunk them and stuffed all of them into his pockets. He would normally bring his family trunk, but over the summer he had found a hidden compartment stuffed with small, dark artifacts of power. He had immediately taken it to the Ministry.

In order to safely remove the dark artifacts, they had to "create an easier route" to retrieve the artifacts through. In simpler terms, they had felt it necessary to remove the container than remove the items from the container. Draco sighed again as he headed off towards Hogwarts. The welcoming feast was only three hours away and he had yet to freshen up from the trip.

---

The welcoming feast found all of the houses at their separate tables. The Gryffindors were rather loud and obnoxious. Most were fawning over their Golden Boy, Harry Potter. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny basked in the attention. They were part of the 'Golden Boys' inner party or close friends. Getting in good with them would surely mean getting in good with the Savior of the wizarding world.

Harry, on the other hand, was obviously uneasy with the situation and attention. He would shift from side to side, avoided eye contact, and focused on the plate in front of him. He was bothered by two things at the moment. First was all of the damn attention. Why couldn't everyone bug off and eat their food? Why couldn't they at least let him eat in peace?

Second was he had a certain blonde on the brain. He couldn't stop thinking about their brief meeting on the train. The git had certainly changed over the past year, along with the majority of the school. Everyone except for the youngest few years of the school had seen the impact war and, more specifically, Voldemort had on the world. Still, Draco had changed dramatically. He seemed decent now, better than decent even.

Also, he had grown over the summer. He was a few inches taller than Harry and had gained some muscle too. He wasn't bulging muscles, but Harry hadn't even fazed him by running into him accidentally on the train. He managed to hold his ground.

'I wonder how he looks without a shirt on now…'

Harry started at his own thought. When had he ever thought like that before? He had never been curious as to how any bloke, let alone Draco, looked without their shirt on. He liked girls.

'At least I think so… ARGH! Why can I not get that blonde git out of my head?'

Ignoring protests and questions from his friends, Harry vacated the great hall and headed for the tower and his dorm room. He had yet to make it to the Headmistress's office to ask for his personal bedroom. When he heard the doors to the great hall shut again after he had already left, he booked it for the tower. Some fan or one of his friends had followed him, he just knew it. He slammed the portrait door behind him and raced up to the dorm room. He locked the door behind him, casted a few timed locking and silencing charms and dropped to the floor.

As he sat in silence, memories started to surface once more. Memories he wished he could throw away. Bill's scarred face. Dumbledore's still, cold body. Sirius' longing stare as he was shoved into the void. Lupin's devastated face as he heard the news. Fred's mangled corpse on the final battlefield. Unknown faces of the dead muggleborns and their parents also filtered through his mind. He had seen them in the profit. He had not known them personally, but their deaths were still personal to him.

It was his fault. His fault they had been butchered. His fault so many had been tortured. His fault so many had been mutilated, raped, and killed. If only he had been smarter, had acted faster, had found the horcruxes sooner, a multitude of lives would have been spared. He wasn't though. He had been slow to act, and now their blood was on his hands.

'Too much… this is too much.'

Harry rose, his body trembling. He wrapped his arms around his trembling frame and slowly walked over to his trunk. He opened it and reached down into its depths, fingers carefully searching for his treasure. From underneath his Father's invisibility cloak, he pulled out a think burlap bag. It was smaller than the size of his hand, but it held the pleasure of the world in it.

He grabbed a maroon towel; gold would not suffice for this task. He removed his shirt and pants and laid down on his bed. After untying the bands holding the bag close, he carefully reached in and pulled it out. It reflected his bed lamp back at him as he stared at it lovingly for a few minutes. This razor had relieved him of so much pain. The least he could do in exchange was feed it from time to time.

He brought the razor up to his left shoulder and pushed down. The razor had a charm on it to keep it eternally sharp as well as disinfected. Harry pulled the razor a few inches down his arm. It was bliss. All thoughts and pains disappeared. Not even the blonde git could hold his mind right now. Harry felt light and free. He wiped the blade on the towel then wrapped the towel around his arm. He would not heal the cut. The scars were as helpful as the cuts at times. He flicked his wrist to close his curtains and sealed them with several locking and silencing charms. The ones on the dorm door would expire soon. Using only his right arm, he maneuvered under his blankets and drifted off into a deep sleep.

---

_Harry was walking around the final battlefield. He had just killed Voldemort and he was helping to find survivors. As he walked, poking people with his wand to see if they were alive, a hand grabbed his ankle. He turned to help the survivor. He looked down at the survivor then tried to jump back in terror as he screamed. Staring back at him was Dumbledore._

_His grip on Harry's ankle was concrete. Harry jerked his leg then tried to pry the hand off with his own hands. At that moment another hand reached out and grabbed his ankle. It was Fred Weasley. His face was twisted into a screaming grimace. Harry screamed louder and frantically searched for his wand. He had dropped it somewhere when he had tried to pry Dumbledore from his ankle. He fell over, his head finding a rock. He was dazed and disoriented for a moment, but hands gripping farther up his body brought him back full force._

_Harry squirmed as the hands found his arms and held him to the ground. His heart beat escalated as he screamed as hard as his lungs would allow. One of the hands released at his scream. The slightly retreating terror came back full force as the hand stood up revealing a deformed body. Harry could not see the face as the body slowly lowered itself to cover part of Harry's squirming body. He screamed again and turned his head hoping to see help coming._

_To his horror the only sight to greet his eyes were more bodies. All of them were slowly standing and making their way to him. One by one they piled on top of him, burying him in a pile of dead corpses._

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

With a violent scream Harry bolted awake. His entire body trembled as flash backs of the dream passed through his mind. After several deep breathes and forced meditation, his mind finally calmed his body down. It was only two hours ago he had fallen asleep, and he already knew he would not be able to sleep again tonight. He waved his hand and transfigured random objects into lights. With his bed adequately lit for reading, Harry conjured his school books out of his trunk. He would focus on Potions and Transfigurations first. He needed to get pretty far ahead so McGonagall would allow him time for independent study.

---

_Earlier that night..._

Draco was stirring his soup. He gazed into it as the contents whirled around in the broth. On occasion, he would catch sight of a green pea in the soup. He never fully saw the pea, as his mind always replaced its sight with a pair of striking emerald eyes. He could not forget this morning's encounter on the train with Harry.

'Harry… when did I start calling him Harry?'

Why were Harry's green eyes stuck in his mind? On the train Harry had brown eyes, well, at least until he told me his name. He must have transfigured the color, but that required highly advanced skill. Draco had just recently learned how to do it himself. How did Harry already know how? He never paid attention in class to actually learn anything. Plus, that level of transfiguration wasn't even taught until the second semester this year, which neither of them had taken yet. He had done it wandless too! He was jostled to attention by Pansy's elbow digging into his side.

"What do you want, Pansy"

"Your attention! I've been talking to you for the past five minutes while you've been staring into your soup. What's gotten into you anyway, Drakie?"

"My name is Draco, Pansy, or have you already forgotten that?"

"Oh, stop being such a snob, Draco. Besides, we're betrothed so I can call you whatever I want." Pansy raised her noise an inch in snobbish accent of her statement. Draco rolled his eyes. For some reason, Pansy still had the notion they would marry. He had tried many times to tell her otherwise. He could not and would not marry her. He did not fancy her at all. Come to think of it, there was no one he really fancied at the moment.

'Well, besides Harry… WHAT! Bad thoughts, very bad thoughts. I cannot think of freaking Potter that way. He is the freaking Savior of the wizarding world. It could never work out…'

He was again revived from his reverie by Pansy's elbow. "Stop that you bothersome witch!"

Pansy plumped her lips into a pout, "It's not nice to talk to your fiancée like that, Drakie!"

Draco ground his teeth together and forced out between his teeth, "You are not my fiancée. Have you already forgotten the numerous discussions on this matter? My father is dead and my mother has been sentenced to Azkaban. This makes me the head of the Malfoy family, and I can choose my own mate. You are not the one I choose."

Pansy glared at Draco and stood up from the table, "I don't care what you say Drakie, we are engaged. Your mother would be quite upset if she knew the way you're treating me. I suggest you watch your tongue!" She stormed off and left the great hall as Draco groaned and slapped his forehead with his palm. As he dropped his hand, he saw Luna Lovegood staring at him. Her faces was contorted into absolute rage. He was shocked to say the least. Luna was always staring off into space, not glaring down her fellow classmates. He decided to ignore the mystery for now and considered his current dilemma.

'Why can she not understand?!? We are not engaged. Nothing my mother says will change my opinion. She is stuck in prison, and I am the head of the house. I can choose my own life now. If only the person I want would want me back…'

It was then Draco looked up and scanned over the crowded tables. The Slytherin table was sparsely populated. Many of his classmates had either been killed by the light because they were death eaters or had been killed by Voldemort because they had refused to become death eaters. It took a minute, but he finally found the stark black hair he had wanted. The hair was an absolute, horrid mess as always. However, it looked rather appealing right now for some reason. It looked very… sexy, like he had just shagged.

'SEXY! Where did that come from? I cannot think of Harry as sexy…'

Draco continued to stare. He longed to see his emerald eyes alight with fire. He kept his head down, hiding the beautiful pools from view. Draco started to get irritated and started to observe those around Harry. They were all talking to him or his 'golden trio' of friends. It had an additional party today, the nasty Ginny Weasel. Ginny had her hand lightly on Harry's arm. The sight of her filthy paws on Harry caused a weird sensation in his chest. It felt like a raging inferno. Draco wanted to storm over there and cut the offending appendage off. He didn't know why though.

Harry did not seem to be eating either. He had a staring contest going on with his plate, but there was no movement of the fork into his mouth. His shoulders were stiff and he shifted his weight every few minutes. He shied away from anyone who touched him. He eventually brushed Ginny off too when he noticed her hand was on him. Draco was warmed considerably when he did that.

'Well, well, well… it appears they are no longer together… maybe he would be interested in giving boys a try… what the hell! What am I thinking! I do NOT fancy the Boy Savior!'

Draco was snapped from his inner turmoil when Harry stood up and left the hall. Draco immediately stood up and followed. As the door closed behind Draco, Harry started to run. He was very fast, much faster than Draco. Draco stopped and turned to head towards his own quarters. There was no chance for him to catch up to boy wonder.

'What could be wrong, I wonder? Is Harry uncomfortable with all the attention he is getting? How odd. He always seemed to bask in it… or did he? I never did notice him at any big events… and he never did give out interviews. There were very few he seemed to willingly take part in. The rest was self published articles by the Daily Prophet.

Does Harry bloody Potter honestly not enjoy the attention of the world? He could do so much with his political power… why does he not do something, anything, for his own good? All he has done so far is testify during a few select death eater trials. He testified for me and, surprisingly, for mother as well, along with a few others. She was given a much shorter sentence and better quarters thanks to it… I cannot figure him out…'

Riddled with confusion, Draco slowly made his way to his solo room. All of the prefects were given their private quarters near their house's dormitories.

---

The next morning found a class of students locked out of their morning Potions class. It was already five past eight and Professor Slughorn had yet to show.

"Well, looks like a good thing we didn't do the reading, as we won't be having class, eh Harry?" Ron prodded Harry who was standing next to him. Hermione was wrapped on Ron's other arm. Harry merely grunted as the class turned to head back to their dorms.

"We WILL be having class today, students!" announced Professor Slughorn as he rounded the corner. "I had a very important meeting with the Headmistress. Now, follow me." He flicked his wand and unlocked the charms on the door. Everyone filed into the room choosing seats closest to their friends and, resultantly, sorted themselves into their houses. Harry could hear Ron cursing Slughorn under his breath the whole time. 'Maybe he didn't read, but I certainly did,' thought Harry.

"First order of business, students, is we will be having a seating chart this semester. It has been specifically laid out by the Headmistress to promote house unity. If you have any issues with your lab partner, you may take it up with her _after_ class. Rearrange now."

The Professor flicked his wrist, causing a 3D image of the seating arrangements to hover in the air large enough for all to see. Ron cursed under his breath more as he moved to his seat with Greg Dwight from Hufflepuff. Hermione stayed in her seat and waited for Blaise Zabini. She shivered slightly at the thought but straightened her shoulders. She would not be weak like Voldemort. She would not hold prejudices against someone just because they were not like her…or if they were from Slytherin.

Harry chuckled as he stood up. The fates were either smiling down on him or laughing cruelly. He hadn't decided which yet. 'I guess he will decide that one…'

"Hello, Draco."

Draco forced his heart beat down and turned towards his new lab partner, "Hello, Potter."

"You know, Draco, if you want me to use your first name, you really should start using mine as well. Or should I go back to using Mal…"

"Harry it is then," interrupted Draco, "why don't you sit down and get your book out while I finish setting up our cauldron?"

Harry set down his book and took out a quill and parchment. He copied the ingredients needed for the day on his parchment as Slughorn dictated them. Once he had rattled off the instructions, Harry went to the store room to retrieve what they would need. He didn't notice a pair of steel eyes which had locked onto him, especially as he bent over to pick up a jar of dragon's blood from the bottom shelf. As Harry made his way back, he eyed Draco over. His hair was perfect as always. He had a sudden urge to run his hand through it and mess it up. Luckily his hands were held back with the supplies they carried.

"Just because we use each other's first names, Harry, doesn't mean we're friends."

"And why can't it mean that?"

Draco stared at Harry. He had hoped to dispel some of the uneasiness he felt around the Gryffindor, but Harry had taken it in a totally different direction. 'Does he actually want to be friends? What universe did I wake up in?'

"Well…"

"Look, Draco, we've been fighting for years. Personally, I'm tired of it. I'd rather our time spent together be pleasant to a degree. Besides, I already shook your hand, so we're already friends."

Draco was stunned to say the least. Harry saw Draco's usually calm façade of a mask drop for a few brief moments. He could see wonder, a touch of fear and another emotion he could not just figure out yet. Draco was quick to place his mask back and shut his gaping mouth.

"Fine, friends then, but do not expect me to start hanging out in the Gryffindor tower."

"Okay, we can hang out in the Slytherin dungeons. Your couches are much more comfortable than ours. Just wish your common room was a little warmer."

Draco's jaw dropped again as he sputtered, "Wha… What?! How… How do you know what our common room is like?!"

Harry chuckled as he laid out the ingredients and began grinding the next ingredient. "Oh, don't act so surprised, Draco. I'll tell you about it another time. For now, just heat the cauldron and add in the dragon's blood while I start distilling this poison."

Draco locked his mouth shut and commenced working. He would have refused to follow Harry's lead in making the potion except for the fact it was exactly what needed to be done. 'I thought Harry sucked at Potions? How does he even know the first step?' He pondered as he began meticulously stirring together the potion. He paid special attention to the number of counter-clockwise turns and clockwise turns he had to make. Neither he nor Harry noticed the table behind them staring.

Directly behind them was none other than Luna Lovegood and Pansy Parkinson. Pansy sniffled as she watched them interact. Her Draco was interacting amicably with The Boy Who Should Have Died! She was confused. He had broken up with her without any reasoning yet again this morning. It did not matter. They were destined to be together. They had a contract even; however, it was signed by his father, who was now dead. Draco could easily brush it aside without a second thought.

'I am going to severely maim whatever girl has caught his attention. They have no right stealing from my happiness. No one is prettier than I am! NO ONE! How dare he think to look at another girl with me by him!'

Tears silently streamed down her face as she became flustered. Her usually pale skin was turning a brilliant shade of red. She almost hexed Draco then and there, but before she reached her wand a hand laid over hers on the table. She swung her head up, startled. Luna Lovegood eyed Pansy critically for a moment, searching her face. 'What is she looking for?'

Whatever it was, she apparently found it, as she embraced Pansy in a hug and whispered in her ear, "Don't let him upset you. Boys are not worth that much trouble. If it really bothers you, confront him after class, make sure he tells you who it is."

Just as quickly as it happened, Luna pulled away and resumed stirring their potion with one hand while using the other to swat at the air. Pansy thought she heard something about horned pixies or another but quickly ignored it. She absently started cutting the next ingredient as she considered Luna's advice. 'Why not confront him? I deserve better than to be pushed aside like a rag doll. He had no problem feeling me up last year. What's so different now? What girl is prettier than me?'

Pansy shot a look over to Luna for a second. She did seem unnaturally divine at times. The carefree way she strolled or just stared off into space. She was so unique and adorable. Pansy decided to follow Luna's advice. After dinner she would corner Draco and find out exactly who she was.

At the end of class, Harry quickly sorted the remaining supplies into the supply cabinet and walked back to their desk. He waited and watched as Draco quickly cleaned the table and cauldron. He moved with perfected precision around the potion brewing equipment. It was awe-inspiring to watch him work, especially when he didn't know he was being watched. Harry noticed Ron and Hermione give him an odd glance as they hurried out the door. They had an Introductory to Muggles class together. Hermione didn't need it, but she had to take it too in order to convince Ron to. Harry obviously didn't need it, so he now had a free block of time during the day. He suspected Draco had it free as well.

"So, Draco, to the Slytherin common room?"

Draco started at Harry's voice. He hadn't expected him to stay behind. "Are you sure you want to be seen with a snake?"

Harry chuckled darkly, "_Why, yes, I think I do." _Draco shuddered as the Parseltongue escaped Harry's lips. He didn't know why, but it excited him to hear Harry speak in Parseltongue. It was a good thing he had on robes today. Hopefully Harry didn't notice how excited it had made him. He didn't want to scare the Gryffindor away.

Unluckily for Draco, Harry had noticed. He started to sweat a bit as he followed Draco down into the dungeons. He had done that to Draco. He wasn't sure why, but that made him feel lighter, happier. The thought of Draco excited started to cause problems of his own though.

The trip down the Slytherin common room was uneventful. By the time they arrived, they had both managed to lose their dead give away excitement. Both had resorted to thinking of various headmasters and mistresses in thongs. Harry plopped down on one of the sofas and watched as Draco sat elegantly in a high backed chair. There was a long moment of awkward silence as they watched the other. Neither really knew exactly how to start.

Draco was the first to start, "Harry… what is this?"

"What's what?"

"Do not play coy with me. THIS! US! We are being civil and not hexing each other. It seems so… off."

"Yes, it does, doesn't it? As much as I miss our routine though, I quite prefer not having to watch my back every second, don't you?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Draco, I know it might be hard, but don't you think we can try to be friends? The war is over, and, even though I can't speak for you, I've changed a lot."

"Yes, but Harry, what about your other friends? Do you honestly think Ron will approve of adding me to the golden trio?"

Harry chuckled at the image of Draco as part of the legendary 'golden trio'. He tried to open his mouth to comment, but only laughter escaped. Draco pulled his face into a sneer.

"Obviously you find that very funny, Potter."

"Oh, come off it, Draco. You have to admit you painted a funny picture. I can see it now, you in a giant red sweater from Mrs. Weasley with a huge D on it."

Draco sneered for another minute until he too burst into laughter. Tears were coming down his cheeks as he grabbed his sides, "Ow, okay. You might be right. That is pretty funny."

"See, we can be friends. I just made you laugh."

"Harry, it is not just that simple. I have done some horrible things… I do not think anyone will ever forgive me."

Harry stood up and kneeled in front of Draco, his hands resting on Draco's knees. "Do you want to be forgiven?"

Draco tried to speak, but his mouth failed him again. Instead he nodded. He did want to be forgiven. He had made so many mistakes by blindly following his father. He loved Lucious, but the man had made so many mistakes. It had nearly cost them everything. It had cost Lucious his life. Draco was raised to believe in nothing but family. While he still held dearly to the belief of family first, he understood there was more to life. One look at Harry proved his belief in there being more. One needed friends to support and be supported by. One needed someone to love to share the ups and down with. He only hoped the one he wanted would be willing one day.

"I forgive you, Draconis Lucious Malfoy."

Whipped out of his reverie, Draco's steel eyes widened and took in the sight before him. Harry was kneeling before him. His emerald green eyes were alight with fire as small, twin trails of tears dripped down his face. Draco slipped off the couch and hugged Harry fiercely. He had to fight with all his will to keep himself from crying.

"Tha.. thank you, Harry. Friends?"

"Friends."

They embraced each other for a few more minutes before it started to become awkward for both of them. They separated and Harry had a faint blush to his cheeks as he retreated back to his couch. Draco smoothed out his clothes and dusted his knees before sitting back down.

"So, Harry, do you want to talk about something, or maybe we could go out and play a seeker game before Herbology?"

Draco's breath stopped momentarily as an unearthly beautiful smile broke Harry's face. His green eyes danced with joy as he shot off the couch for the common room door.

"I'll get my broom!"


	2. Chapter Two: The Beginning of an End and

**A/N: Psst… don't tell anyone, but I sort of worked on this second chapter before my main story. Oops. I have the odd feeling I am not getting Ron's character just right, his dialogue anyway. Let me know, eh? Also, looking for a Beta! In this chapter I almost said Narcissa was dead when in the last chapter I mentioned she was just in Azkaban. Need help staying consistent! Also, should I cover their time in Hogsmead? I am tempted to just skip ahead to Sunday night so I can get into the development of the drama, setting of the stage, etc. Let me know!**

**Chapter Two: The Beginning of an End and a Beginning**

The next few days were rather uneventful. It wasn't until Thursday that any sort of excitement was to find its way into Hogwarts. Harry slowly woke up in his bed and headed for the showers. After showering and dressing, he went to Ron's bed to wake him up as well. Oddly, his bed was empty. From the look of things it had not been slept in even. As he turned around he saw the door open and close on its own accord.

"RON! You took my cloak!"

"Shh! I had to, Harry. Relax. I brought it back in perfect condition again, see?"

Ron handed the cloak over to Harry who closely inspected it for a tear or stain. Ron gathered together a fresh pair of clothes and was about to leave the room when Harry spoke up, "Again, Ron?"

Ron blushed scarlet and coughed nervously, "What mate?"

"Again? You said you brought it back in perfect condition _again_. What did you mean by that?"

Ron swallowed the gathering saliva in his mouth, "I used it another time before this. No big deal. I returned it in perfect condition every time."

"So you have only used it these two times then?"

"Well… not exactly. I've used it every night we've been back… and I used it at the burrow on occasion too."

Harry walked over to his chest and settled his father's cloak neatly at the bottom. When he closed the lid he pulled out his wand and waved it as he chanted in Latin. Locking spell after locking spell slammed into the chest, restraining it from every type of entry possible. It could not be summoned, levitated, weathered, moved, apparated or opened by anyone but himself. Harry inspected his work and grinned down at it. It was perfect. Ron wouldn't be getting the cloak any time soon.

"What was all that for, Harry? I'd never let anything happen to your cloak, I swear! I need it to visit my girl."

"You should have asked," Harry calmly stated as he brushed past Ron. The git might need a shower still, but it didn't mean Harry had to wait for him. Ron had invaded his personal space and encroached upon the trust blindly given to him. It wasn't as if the red head had intended to cause any harm, but he almost had. The cloak had been on top of the small bag that held Harry's dark salvation. If Ron had found it when he was stealing the cloak, he would have insisted on stealing away his secret friend.

He made his way to the Great Hall and took his usual seat next to Hermione, who had her nose in a newspaper. Her plate still had food on it, which was strange. She was always done eating by the time either he or Ron made it down. She had wasted no time in pulling out the paper and books this time it seemed.

"Mione, you should eat something."

Hermione dropped the paper and gave him a tentative smile as she set the paper down and started inhaling her food.

"So, Mione, what have you and Ron been up to with my cloak?"

Hermione's eyes shot wide and she instinctively attempted to swallow the lump in her throat. Unfortunately this caused her to start choking. Harry rolled his eyes and flicked his wrist under the table. She felt tingles as magic darted in her throat tearing the food into smaller pieces. She now easily smiled and gulped the food into her stomach.

"What do you mean, Harry?"

"I'm not stupid, Mione," Harry calmly stated as he started chewing on small pieces of bacon, "I know Ron has been stealing my cloak. What have you two been up to?"

Hermione blushed crimson and her hands snapped under the table. 'She's likely going to wring a hole in her robes,' thought Harry. She coughed lightly and looked him straight in the eye, "You know full well what we're up to, Harry. Why do you feel the need to bring up private matters at the breakfast table? We both should hurry up eating so we can get started with our studying. If we don't, we'll fall behind my study table."

Harry laid down the biscuit he was about to bite into and glared at her, "Don't try changing the subject. I don't care what the two of you are doing with each other in bed. I meant why in Merlin's name _you_ thought it a good idea to let _Ron_ use _my_ cloak without asking me first?"

Hermione grunted in frustration, "It's not as if he's never used it before on his own. Besides, it's not as if you have any need for it right now. What's the big deal?" Her eyebrows were crumpled in confusion. 'She honestly thinks there's nothing wrong with just _taking_ my cloak? For almost disturbing my solace?!'

Harry stood up and picked up his plate, "You two won't be using it again. It's one of the few things I have left from my father. Now that there is no _dire need_ for it, I won't let someone use it just so they can shag." With that said he walked to the other end of the table and found an empty spot close to the first year students. He sat down there and worked on eating what was left of his food. Hermione had her mouth opened in shock when Ron arrived.

"Hey, Hermione, close your mouth before Percy's rat crawls in it. You won't believe how Harry reacted about the stupid cloak!"

Hermione snapped her jaw shut and blushed three shades of crimson as everyone nearby started making cat calls at them. Ron glanced around as he piled mounds of food onto his place. "What's gotten into everyone, Mione? Hey, why's Harry sitting all the way down there? Don't tell me he's sore about the cloak still?"

She kicked Ron in the shin under the table and glared at him, "You git! Harry just announced what we've been doing with the cloak, and, until now, no one had any proof of it. Thanks to you, the whole school is going to know. Do you know how Headmistress McGonagall is going to react? She's going to kill me!"

Ron gulped and turned to look up at the head table. One of the lower years was up at the table whispering in McGonagall's ear now. He could see her eyebrows rising as the student's mouth moved. He turned back to Hermione his face white, "I don't think you have to worry. She's always favored you. Me though? I'm the one corrupting her perfect Gryffindor. What do you think she's going to do to me? I'm going to hex Harry into next year for this!"

---

Harry could barely stomach his food as he ate. He forced himself to eat though. If he left now, someone would worry he wasn't eating well enough. Mrs. Weasley would come to Hogwarts herself if she heard any rumor along those lines. He had to at least keep up the pretense of eating. Besides, the more he ate meant the more he could count on his dark salvation.

Once he had forced enough food down his throat to constitute a meal, he headed out of the hall in a clam fashion. After he passed through the doors, he sprinted in the direction of the tower. He would only have a few minutes to get to the tower, do the deed, and get to Potions in time. He was excited yet disturbed at the same time. He looked forward to seeing Draco again, oddly enough. He hadn't seen the git the past few days. However, he was also anxious to be back in that room, Snape's room. It always reminded Harry of how he had failed yet another person.

'Damn, I have to hurry. I need this before I go there again.'

After he raced through the portrait and into his vacant room, he threw a locking charm onto the door and reached for his chest. Thankfully he had spelled it earlier to only allow him through the charms. Now he wouldn't have to waste time relocking the chest once he was done. He dug into the chest underneath his father's cloak and pulled out a small leather pouch smaller than the palm of his hand. He undid the bag's tie and turned it upside down over his hand.

A black piece of metal fell into his hand. He expertly held it as he pulled on one side, revealing the hidden blade. Unless you knew the right spot to tug on, it would just look like a plain black piece of metal.

He pushed back his robe and pushed down into his upper left arm. He dragged it a few inches leaving a trail of angry red behind. It felt like heaven for a moment. No guilt. No shame. No remorse. No pain. It all vanished for those blissful moments. A smile stretched over Harry's face as he quickly spelled the blood off of the blade and his shoulder. He never healed the cuts or covered them with a glamor, but he never left the blood behind. As he placed the knife back in his trunk, someone hammered on the door with their fist. Harry quickly closed his trunk and arranged his robes. With a flick of his wrist he unlocked the door and opened it.

Standing there with fist in mid swing was Ron, his face purple. "What the hell, Harry! Did you have to go blabbing in the Great Hall about Hermione and me? Now old McGonagall has me serving detention for a MONTH!"

Harry brushed past Ron and talked over his shoulder, "You two are the ones who shagged, so don't blame me she found out. I would have never said anything if you had _asked_ for the cloak." He briskly walked out of the common room leaving behind a pissed off Ron. It was always best to leave Ron alone when he was angry. His anger was hotter than his red hair led you to believe. He was an active volcano at times. Harry arrived at class and headed to the supply cabinet. He felt eyes on him as he bent over to gather some of the supplies. When he turned with all of the supplies levitating behind him as he walked, he noticed Draco at their table.

'Our table… oddly that sounds comforting in some way…'

Harry mused on this as he laid out all the ingredients and began to process the ones that need to be chopped, ground or otherwise prepared. It was a few moments before he noticed Draco was staring at him and their cauldron had not been setup yet.

"Is there a problem, Draco?"

Draco started and quickly busied his hands with setting up the cauldron. "Not at all, Harry, just… surprised I guess."

"Surprised by what?"

Draco's mouth tried to twist into a sneer, but it failed and curled into a half smile, "You seem to actually know what you're doing in potions."

Harry chuckled as he finished with all of the dry ingredients. Now he pulled out a few small beakers to hold the liquid ingredients he would be measuring out. He poured out the various liquids then proceeded to return all the remaining ingredients back to the storage cabinet. As he finished up, Professor Slughorn entered the room along with the rest of the class trailing behind. Everyone usually waited outside until the professor arrived. No one wanted to be in the dank room longer than they had to be, except for Draco and Harry apparently. They both received odd looks as the other students sat down at their tables. When he heard the door slam and felt two holes being burnt into the back of his neck, Harry knew Ron had waited to be the last to enter. 'Such a drama queen at times.' Harry sighed and pulled out his potions book. He might as well reread the last few chapters of the book. He had already managed to read through it, but the trickier potions could always use a revisit.

"Excuse me, Harry, but what are you doing?" Professor Slughorn stood looking over his shoulder.

"Reading, Professor."

"But we haven't reached that content yet. You should focus on today's lesson. And, might I add, you should help your partner with the potion. You'll never learn if you don't partake in the practical aspect of the art."

"Actually, Professor," Draco interrupted, "Harry was the one to prepare all of the ingredients. He had them ready before I even had the cauldron setup. If you're worried about him learning the practical aspect, I'll switch with him next week, as it would be unfair to have him do all of the work for this brew."

Harry stared at Draco. Was Draco defending him? Even Professor Slughorn seemed to be at a loss for words for a moment until he refocused again. "Well, very well then Draco. You may finish the brew today, but make sure to let Harry have a chance at the cauldron. Now Harry, focus on tomorrow's lesson as we'll be learning how to brew various healing draughts. It's very important to get those perfect or they could cause more harm than good if done improperly."

Harry nodded and flipped to the pages in question and began reading. He was not looking for an argument or to expose his inability to sleep to the entire class. 'How else would I explain having read the entire potions book already? It's not like I have a time turner like Hermione.'

As Harry read, he continued to feel alternating beams of curiosity and pure anger. The anger he knew was Ron; however, he didn't know who the second person staring at him was. When he felt the calm gaze on him again he quickly looked up from his book and scanned the room. There was no one who looked suspicious. No one was looking his way. They were either bent over their cauldron or running to the supply cabinet. It was very odd. 'Whenever I feel those eyes on me, they're not hostile at all. It's more like they're observing… more like they're… checking me out. I can feel them move from my head down to my waist… I wonder who it could be.'

Harry internally debated with himself as he stared at the page open before him. Draco groaned internally as he watched Harry bite down on his lower lip in concentration. He couldn't explain why, but the simple gesture aroused a sharp curiosity in him. He wanted to know what it would feel like to bite down on those lips. He wanted to see what those horrible robs hid. 'Someone definitely needs to take him shopping… hmm… this weekend _is_ a Hogsmeade weekend…'

Determined to an attempt to improve Harry's wardrobe, Draco swallowed the lump in his throat and addressed the Gryffindor intentionally for the first time since their seeker game. "Harry, are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Harry glanced up from his book, his eyes blank for a moment. "Sorry, Draco, I didn't hear you, what was that?"

"I asked, are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Harry shook his head and looked back down at this book. His throat was tight and dry all of a sudden. He wasn't sure why, but Draco had him very nervous all of a sudden. He tried to discreetly swallow the building lump in his throat.

"Why not?"

Harry turned his head and glanced over to Hermione and Ron's table. 'Well, what _was_ Hermione and Ron's table. Now it's Ron and Neville's.' McGonagall had made a preemptive strike and separated the two "love birds" in every class they had together. Hermione also had to take late night prefect shift for the next month and report in to the Headmistresses at the end. She wasn't allowed to leave her office until Ron activated the charm on his curtains to signal he was in bed for the night. If he left the bed for more than a few minutes until the morning, it would signal an alarm in her office. 'She is a crafty one, McGonagall,' Harry thought as he strummed his fingers on his book.

"Harry."

Harry turned towards the crisp voice calling his name. It forcibly grabbed his attention and forced it on Draco. "Hmm?"

"Weasel… I mean Weasley is not your only friend you could go to Hogsmeade with."

"I know, Draco, it's just that I got him and Hermione into this mess…"

"No, you didn't, Harry. They are in this mess because they were caught shagging. They should have been more careful to not get caught, like me."

A sudden fire ravaged in Harry's guy. It twisted and burned with intense fury. It was a very odd yet similar feeling. It was similar to the feeling he had once felt for Cho when Cedric took her to the dance. At the same time, it was different. It was stronger. It was angrier. He couldn't really name this emotion as it swept his anger up, down and around again.

"Harry!" Draco audibly sighed as he covered the cauldron. It needed to brew for a few more minutes and it would be done. In the interim he could finally focus on the absent minded, raven haired vision next to him. When he focused on Harry again, Harry had turned his head up towards Draco. The fierce emerald eyes stabbed through his heart and threw him off balance for a moment. He lightly coughed and forged ahead, "Forget about the whole thing. It is not your problem. You need to get your mind off of it. How about you and I go to Hogsmeade together? We really haven't seen each other after our seeker game."

Harry took a moment to close his book before he replied. 'Should I go with him? Ron is already made at me. If he finds out I'm spending time in Hogsmeade with Draco after I got Hermione and him detention, Ron will kill me. If only he wouldn't find out about it…'

"I'll go on one condition."

Draco tilted his head slightly and stuck out his jaw, "I was under the impression I was asking a friend on a trip, not making a business proposal of some kind."

Harry chuckled again, "Well, you just so happen to be asking a friend who would be butchered, burned and crucified if I was seen in Hogsmeade with you right now. I will go if you don't tell anyone about my disguises."

"Disguises?"

"Yes, disguises. First the one on the train and the one I'll use Saturday, or did you want to go Friday and spend the night at the Hog's Head?"

On the outside Draco's face was clam and controlled as he had been taught since a baby. It was his perfect Malfoy mask. On the inside he was squirming and jumping for joy at the same time with possibilities. 'Spend the night? I doubt he is thinking the same thing I am… but there is only one way to find out.'

"We should leave Friday. That way we can get up early Saturday, visit some shops and spend the majority of the day doing anything."

They made arrangements to meet Friday before dinner. They would dine when they were in Hogsmeade. Once the potion was finished, Harry and Draco turned it in and left the classroom. The class was only half way over, but they had permission to leave since they were the professor's favorites. Besides, they obviously knew this material. All the other students had over an hour left on their potions. The two boys parted ways, each heading towards their next classes.

Once Draco knew Harry was out of sight, he bolted to the Headmistress's office and borrowed the floo to reserve some rooms at the Hog's Head…

---

Friday afternoon finally arrived. Draco had been getting ready for at least an hour already, and it would be at least a few more before he was ready. He hoped he would be on time to meet Harry at six. He had finally narrowed down his choices for tonight's outfit down to seven. 'Should I wear silver and green. Maybe red and gold to appeal? No, that would be too apparent. Right, down to six choices now. The black and white is a little too formal. I need something casual yet… appealing at the same time. These black jeans are a little tight, but maybe that's a good thing? Yes, the black jeans will be perfect. Now, should I use a dark, light or reflective shirt? This silver would be amazing for a night of dancing, but we're not going dancing. I will have to go with this the light blue then.'

With the clothing for tonight chosen, he moved onto his various necklaces, bracelets, armbands and other accessories. Draco was rather surprised no one had spread the rumor that he liked blokes yet. While he didn't actively inform others, he didn't actively attempt to hide it either. True, he had a small thing with Pansy once, but it had been dreadful. After carefully picking through his various boxes he decided on a simple silver chain with an emerald dragon hanging from the middle. He decided against any other jewelry tonight. He didn't want to overdo it with Harry.

'Now, what to take to wear tonight for bed? Should I take just boxers? A robe? Night gown? Pajama pants?' Draco deliberated as he dug through his bag full of bed clothing. There were quite a few adventurous outfits he would have loved to take, but those would scare Harry off too. In the end he decided on a pair of silver boxers. He would play it by ear really. He wanted to try some seduction, so he might pretend to have not brought any pajamas. Plus he normally went commando, so he could lay next to Harry naked. The thought caused some much needed attention to be mandatory to a lower part of his anatomy.

As the tower chimed six o'clock, Draco was just zipping up his bag for the trip. He cast a shrinking charm and tucked it in his pocket. With a quick fix of his hair, he raced out of the common rooms and headed for the main entry to meet Harry.

---

The two arrived at the Hog's Head a little while later. It had been quite a pleasant walk. Harry had walked slightly behind Draco the entire time. For some reason he was hypnotized while watching him walk. The jeans Draco wore seemed to cling to his form, showing off his assets quite well. Harry had to mentally slap himself several times to avoid drooling. He did not know why Draco affected him to such a degree all of a sudden. He had never looked at another boy before. To be honest, he had never looked that hard at a girl before either. The short relationships he had with Cho and Gin had been just that, short.

For some odd reason, Harry really wanted to impress Draco. Harry had spent at least two hours in his room trying to pick the best clothes. He really needed to go shopping. The majority of his clothing was still hand downs from Dudley. When they inquired after a room, Harry was disappointed to learn there was only one room left somehow. It was a single room with a poster bed. Harry frowned. 'What are we supposed to do now? Head back to Hogwarts? Maybe the Three Broomsticks has a room?'

"We will take it."

Harry blinked several times in confusion as Draco's voice echoed in his mind. They were going to share a room? Share a bed? After the key had been handed to Draco, he started to head up the stairs with Harry stunned behind him. Shaking himself, Harry followed Draco up.

"Umm, Draco, don't you think we should try the three broomsticks? There's only one bed in this room."

Draco reached their door, unlocked it and waltzed in. It was a comfortable looking room. The bed was covered in a black duvet with four pillows. There was a small table with two chairs in one corner with a few magical lamps spread around.

"What is the problem with only one bed, Harry? You cannot tell me you have never had to share a bed before. You must have at least bunked with the Weasel at one point or another."

Harry stammered as Draco took his bag out of his pocket and enlarged it. He placed it on the table and transfigured it into a small closet. He opened the single door and nodded with a smile. Draco turned back to face Harry again, "Well, Harry, what is the problem?"

Harry's mouth was dry. He painfully swallowed the lump in his throat as Draco turned back to the closet and bended over to organize the boots and shoes he had brought. It was a sight to behold. The black jeans hugged Draco's body, leaving very little to the imagination from this view. Harry didn't know why he found Draco's ass so appealing, but all he knew was he did. He wanted Draco so bad right in that moment. The lump he tried to swallow ended up caught in his throat so he coughed it loose.

Draco turned around with a half up turned smile on his face. 'Damn that looks hot,' thought Harry. "Harry, are you okay there?"

"Yea, Draco, fine. How 'bout we head down and grab something to eat?"

Draco slowly started to walk towards Harry, his shoulders slightly rising and falling as if he was a predator about to pounce. "Actually, I already ordered us dinner. I flooed ahead and booked a meal. Too bad I did not think about renting a room for the night as well." Something about he said that sounded off to Harry, but he decided to ignore it and focus more on how Draco's hips swayed as he walked over to the side of the bed. Draco started to take off his boots and cloak as he pretended not to notice Harry drooling over his ass, 'Maybe there is some hope for Harry Potter yet.'

Harry managed to break his trance somehow and headed for the other side of the bed and removed his trainers and cloak as well. He placed them on the night stand on his side then turned and transfigured some of the sheets into more pillows. He arranged the pillows around him and leaned back into his small fort of pillows.

Draco looked over at Harry and smirked, "Quite comfy, Harry?"

Harry smiled and closed his eyes, content to stay like this for a while, "Yes, quite."

Draco smiled and silently licked his lips. Harry looked so blissfully delicious when he was relaxed. Draco had to mentally restrain himself from reaching out and touching Harry in more ways than one. He mimicked Harry and created a small army of pillows to lean into as well.

"Well, Harry, we have another thirty minutes before they bring the food at least," Draco spoke, "what should we do in the interim?"

Harry mulled the question over in his mind. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to jump Draco, which scared him considerably. While Hermione had mentioned at one time that same sex couples weren't unheard of our biased against, Harry had been raised to believe it evil and despicable. He was simply torn on the inside. According to his 'wonderful' Uncle Vern, being gay was equivalent to being pure evil. Yet, from what Hermione had mentioned, same sex couples could get married and be accepted as such in wizarding society. He was conflicted and confused to no end. Just because it was accepted in general did not mean his friends would accept his sexuality let alone the person he wanted to be with.

"Harry?"

Harry shook his head as he thought. He didn't hear Draco as he called Harry's name. Harry was too focused on his problems right now. He didn't know how to even be sure Draco was what he wanted. True, Draco had caused Harry to cast silencing charms on his door every night so he could wank and moan as loud as he liked. He had caused Harry to make more frequent stops to the bathrooms to relieve himself in more ways than one.

Harry bolted up when a hand cupped his cheek. He looked at that source of the touch to find Draco's hand, which led to his arm which led to his chest which led to his face.

"Harry! I have been trying to get your attention for a good five minutes now! Something wrong, Harry?"

"No, Draco, I was just thinking. How about we just talk until our food is done? There are some things I've been meaning to ask you."

Draco relaxed back into his pillows. He dreaded where this might go. He wanted Harry, true, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to share any of his secrets right now. "What would you like to talk about, Harry?"

"Well," Harry fidgeted as he too leaned back into his pillows, "what made you change since last year… since the war?" As soon as he finished speaking, he closed his eyes waiting for a curse or rebuff or something cruel.

Harry was greeted with silence instead. 'Did he not hear me?' Harry was about to talk again when Draco cut in, "A lot happened. My father died and mother is in Azkaban. I felt the brunt end of the Dark…Voldemort's rage. Mostly time happened. Time alone happened. I would rather not go into it right now, Harry, okay?"

The two were quiet until the food arrived. When it did, they transfigured the bed into a table and ate in comfortable silence. The meal was uneventful and so were the few hours after as they played games of wizards' chess and exploding snap. Much to both of their surprise, they were evenly matched in chess. It ultimately burned down to luck that Draco managed to win the last game of five, barely beating Harry in the games for the evening. By this time it was getting rather late, evidenced by Harry's loud yawn.

Draco chuckled as Harry blushed, "Sorry about that."

"It's fine, Harry. Maybe we should go to bed now? You transfigure the bed back and I will get ready for bed."

Harry searched for his wand, finding it on the nightstand. He had almost done the transfiguration wandlessly, but he had already flaunted his power too much in front of Draco. He flicked his wand and whispered the spells to turn the table back into a comfortable bed. This was when he finally became nervous. 'I can't sleep nude while sharing a bed with him, can I? I prefer it, but maybe it would be best if I left my boxers on… and my shirt… and some pants… Merlin I have no idea how to go about this…'

As Harry ran his hand through his raven hair, Draco casually stepped out of the small bathroom in nothing buy a pair of silver boxers. Harry's eyes drifted up the tone legs, pass the slight bulge in the boxers, up the abs and along the smooth chest. His mouth dried up and a knot formed in his throat.

'Beautiful…'

Draco pointedly ignored Harry's staring and slipped into bed. On the outside his face was calm, but on the inside he was jumping up and down with excitement. Harry had noticed his body and obviously liked what he saw. Harry rushed to get into his boxers and get under the sheets as well. Sleep eventually claimed both boys, a huge smile on Draco's face.


	3. Chapter Three: The Ties

Thank you to my Beta: bcandii

Chapter Three – The Ties that Once Bound Us

Sunday night found Harry in the Gryffindor tower packing. He had just left McGonagall's office. He was rather surprised at how easy it had been to acquire his own room. He had to pay a small fee every month to cover the cost of cleaning and servicing a technically 'unneeded' room, but it was well worth it. No one would be able to snoop through his things and he could actually get out of bed to study when his nightmares woke him. His nightmares were likely the selling factor. McGonagall had been resilient up to that point in the conversation.

She had suggested he take dreamless sleep potions. When Harry pointed out he had tried an extreme strength dosage left behind by Professor Snape and had still been woken, her face had contorted into a mask of pain and worry. After that it had been a matter of simply picking where he would like to be. It turned out there was a vacant room directly across from the Prefect's bathroom. The room had its own bath, but he would be given the password to the Prefect's as well. She had suggested taking a relaxation potion there and adding it into the water before bed. Harry highly doubted it would work, but he was willing to try anything.

When he finished packing the remainder of his trunk, he placed Hedwig's cage and her perch on top of his trunk. In a pop, the house elves had taken all of the items to his new room. He carried a few personal items in a bag over his shoulder. He slowly closed the door behind him and paused when he reached the commons room. He had been looking for Ron and Hermione since he had returned from Hogsmeade with Draco Saturday night. It had been a glorious day with Draco. They had shopped far longer than Harry had ever dared before. It was about time he had clothes that fit though. There had been more than one time he had caught Draco looking at him while he tried on clothes. The thought caused a bright blush to his cheeks. Draco caused so many emotions to rumble in Harry that he found himself lost more often than not.

He slowly shook his head and cleared it, taking another look around the room. Neville was in a corner reading a book. He had a scroll of parchment laid out next to him that he took notes on every few minutes. There was no sign of Ron or Hermione, again. He walked over to Neville and tapped his shoulder. Neville looked up from his book with a shy smile, "Hey Harry. You need something?"

"Yea, could you let Hermione know I need to talk with her and Ron? I'll try catching them at dinner or breakfast."

"Sure thing, Harry. Are you going somewhere?" Neville pointed towards Harry's bag.

"Oh, yeah. I have my own room now. I wanted to let them know before I left, but I haven't been able to find them all day."

Neville stood up and briefly hugged him. "I'm glad you managed to get your own space, Harry. The war changed a lot of us. I sympathize with you the most though. You went through more than any of us. I know this is selfish, but I'm glad Voldemort chose you over me. I would've let everyone down if I had to go through everything you had."

Harry had to struggle to hold back tears. He hugged Neville again as he swallowed the growing lump in his throat. He normally hated when people kept thanking him for the part he played in the war. He had been slow; he had caused so many more deaths. Voldemort's might have been the one to cast Avada Kedavra, but Harry had been the one to not get there to stop him sooner. Now poor Teddy had him as a godfather. How could he be a godfather when he could not hold himself together? Harry released Neville from the hug and gave him a weak smile.

"Thanks, Neville. It means a lot coming from you. I'm gonna get going now. I'll see ya at dinner."

The two friends exchanged a parting wave as Harry walked out of the Gryffindor tower towards his new room. He struggled as he walked to keep himself together. Neville had unwittingly caused the memories and nightmares to resurface. As he walked around a corner he was snapped out of his self-pity parade when he ran into another body. He was promptly knocked onto the ground. Harry looked up to see Ron looking down, his face the same color as his hair.

"Oh, hey Ron, I've been looking for you and…"

Before Harry could finish, Ron stepped around Harry and started walking away, "Sod off, Potter!"

Harry stared at his friend's retreating back until it was past another corner and out of sight. 'What was that? Why is he using my last name? What the hell!' He pulled himself to his feet and finished his trip to his room uneventfully. When he entered, he casted several powerful locking and silencing charms. It was a rather simple room. The floor was gray tile with blue floor rugs. The bedding on the bed was a mixture of blues and grays. What he could see of the bathroom was more of the same. 'Those sheets would look really well on Draco.'

He no longer questioned the attraction he felt towards Draco. His only concern now was if he should follow through on it or not. Draco seemed interested. The glances he had taken when Harry came out of the shower on Saturday in just a towel had spoken of barely contained carnal intent. Harry had not experienced that sort of hunger directed towards him before, but it definitely stirred something in him. He wanted a taste of it, but he also wanted a meaningful relationship. He wanted more than a quick shag. What was it Draco wanted? He really wanted to ask Hermione about it. She was very clever and would be able to figure it out or at least clue him in. Was Harry reading too much into Draco's behavior? What was up with Ron?

He checked to make sure the house elves had put away all his things properly. After that he locked his trunk to the floor with several charms. It was still overly locked and protected, but he had to remove the sticking charms when he brought it down. With those back in place, he left his room. Again, he cast several locking charms before heading towards the great hall. He really needed to talk with Hermione and Ron. Hopefully he could catch Hermione alone to question her about Ron.

He reached the great hall and poked his head in the side door. He scanned the Gryffindor table, searching for a flare of red or a nest of brown hair. He found neither as he scanned time and again. Where were his friends? Right now he really needed them. He was confused. To avoid the usually fawning, Harry quickly vacated his observation post and headed for the kitchen. Dobby happily provided him with a snack to take back to his room. He nibbled on it as he went. He wasn't hungry really. It was just habit to eat at this time. Quiet and alone he slowly worked his way back to his room. He had no idea where they might be. He had left a message with Neville, who wouldn't fail to give it, and looked for them at dinner. What more could he do.

When he reached his room, he routinely re-casted the locking and silencing charms. He wasn't one to simply trust the castle's built in security measures anymore. Later that night found Harry once again sweating and panting after another vivid nightmare. It was too much. He went to his trunk and found his dark, sweet release again. After he had cleaned up the blood, he found his Herbology notebook and began on next month's lessons. He was already a month or two ahead in potions and transfiguration. He had asked all of his teachers for the semester's homework assignments.

---

Harry woke groggily. It took him a few moments to clear his mind and sit up. His body protested the movement, drawing a weak groan. He tossed off his covers and stepped out of bed. He slowly stretched his legs and arms. His body was very lethargic and sluggish. He sauntered over to the bathroom and stepped into the shower. He loved having his own room. He could easily sleep nude without worrying about his roommates attempting to prank him. As he rubbed soap over his skin, his thoughts slowly turned to Draco and his growing problem below. 'Bloody hell. Why not?'

Harry vigorously grabbed a hold and stroked for all he was worth. He imagined Draco's hand in place of his, gliding effortlessly with the suds teasing his length. Harry moaned and panted as he neared release. With a shudder, he screamed and released on his stomach. The warm cascading water quickly washed away all evidence as he fell against the side of the shower. His breathing was haggard as his system calmed down from its high. Harry shook his head to clear the growing haze.

He needed to hurry so he could hopefully catch Hermione and Ron at breakfast. Hermione should still be revising if he was quick enough. He ran out of the shower, dried off and threw on the first clothes in the closest. He didn't take time to notice he was putting on his new black pants, shirt and dark green robes. They were almost black, but if one looked closely you could make out the green hue. After stepping into his trainers, Harry vacated his room and relocked the door with various spells.

When he reached the great hall, there was hardly anyone there. 'Huh, maybe I'm here earlier than I thought.' He went to the Golden Trio's usual spot and piled a few scraps of food on his plate. He still wasn't that hungry. It was just habit now to eat something. He scanned the crowd as he nibbled on a biscuit.

When he spotted the unmistakable blonde hair, he stopped chewing as he stared at Draco. The biscuit he had been chewing on was slowly lowered as he stared deep into the stormy eyes staring back at him. It was a battle of wills. Draco questioned and Harry attempted to answer. The only problem was Harry wasn't sure of the exact question or the answer. He wanted Draco to some degree, yes, but did Draco want Harry? As in did he want the real Harry or the legendary Harry Potter? Did he just want to brag he shagged Harry Potter, or did he want to commit? 'Damnit! I need Hermione! Where the hell is she?'

Harry was drawn from his musings when the Great Hall's door was slammed shut. Harry looked to the doors to see Hermione and Ron. Harry smiled until he saw the murderous look Ron was giving him. He frowned as his brows pulled together in confusion. 'What have I done?'

Hermione frantically pulled on Ron's sleeve and whispered in his ear as they walked to their usual spots. Instead of sitting next to him though, they sat across from him. Ron glared at him then started to grab his usually morning fare. Hermione sighed and looked at Harry helplessly. Harry was still puzzled. He had no clue what was going on. While Ron shoveled food into his mouth, Harry pushed aside his plate and decided to break the ice, "What's going on guys?"

Hermione sighed as Ron growled. He had too much food in his mouth to speak. Hermione laid a hand on his shoulder and took over the talking. "Where were you this weekend, Harry?"

"Hogsmeade, same as you two, no?"

Hermione nodded, "Yes, we went to Honeyduke's and Madam Puddifoot's. Where did you go?"

Harry titled his head to the side. He had no clue how this had anything to do with Ron's attitude. "I went shopping for some new clothes. Dudley's don't fit that well and are starting to smell somewhat. Why?"

Ron managed to swallow his entire mouthful and glared at Harry, "We saw you with the bloody ferret, Harry, don't try lying to us!"

Harry shook his head, trying to clear his growing confusion. "And? I needed help picking out clothes and I couldn't find you two to ask for your help. Matter of fact I've been looking for you guys since Sunday morning. Where have you been?"

Ron slammed his hand on the table, startling those nearby as some plates bounced. "DON'T try changing the subject! We saw you with that ferret acting like good old chums. Your old friends no longer good for ya or something?"

"Ron, what's your issue? I thought you were on neutral terms with him? Why do you care if I hang out with him?"

Ron growled in response. He grabbed his plate and walked towards the door. He slammed the Great Hall door as he left. Hermione sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that day. "Harry, I really don't know what's got into him. He seemed to not care about Malfoy, and now he's blowing a fuse over this small thing."

Harry only nodded. He couldn't quite speak yet. His first and only friend was more than bloody pissed off. He was as livid as an active volcano. He used Harry's last name when they collided in the hall. He couldn't handle this extra stress right now. He absentmindedly started to tug on the hem of his robe. He wanted his dark release so bad. He snapped out of his reverie as Hermione shook him and called his name. "Harry, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Could I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything, Harry. Just can it wait until later? I'm behind revising and I still need to go have a chat with Ron, okay?"

Harry numbly nodded. 'No, it's not okay, but just leave. Everything is great. Want to come to my room and watch me bleed? By the way, I wondered if you thought Draco would make a good boyfriend for me, or if he was just shagging material.' Hermione quickly grabbed a few pieces of toast and quickly scrambled out of the hall. She needed to catch up to Ron or she would be majorly thrown off of schedule. Harry slowly stood up and vacated the hall as well. He rounded the corner before his room when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to be confronted by those captivating, stormy eyes once more. 'Draco.' A sense of ease flooded his system as he stared into those eyes.

"You are not fine, Harry. Can we talk?"

Harry's eyes widened slightly in surprise, but he nodded and walked to his door. After disarming the various locking charms, he opened the door for Draco and closed it behind them. "So, Draco, " Harry started as his voice shook slightly, "what did you want to talk about." If Harry had expected anything it was a comment about Ron's temper. What he hadn't expected was for Draco to hug him, which is what happened. Draco Malfoy wrapped his pale arms around Harry in a tight yet comforting hug. Harry slowly returned the hug. It just felt right to be wrapped around this pale angel.

"Harry, don't let Ron get you down. I've been hearing all about it. If he doesn't accept every part of you, the problem is with him and not you."

Tears threatened to spill. Draco looked at Harry and wiped his fingers along his eyes, clearing the little drops that had escaped. "None of that now, Harry. No matter what, I will take care of you."

Draco leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against Harry's. Harry gasped in shock. It was light yet firm, and it felt so bloody right. Harry didn't have time to think before Draco's tongue was licking along his bottom lip. Harry pushed all thought aside and slightly parted his mouth for Draco. Draco wasted no time in entering Harry's mouth and fighting with his tongue. Neither fought for dominance. They fought for attention and to bring pleasure to the other. Harry moaned and brought his hands into Draco's hair. He reveled in the silky texture as his fingers twisted strand after strand.

When they pulled apart gasping for breath, Harry struggled to ask, "Draco… what… we… what…"

Draco chuckled, wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and pulled him closer, "What was that? What are we? What is your question, Harry?" Harry just nodded to Draco as he listed each question. He couldn't speak. His body trembled and his heart raced. He was also starting to have an issue in his pants.

Draco leaned forward and planted a tender, soft kiss on Harry's lips, "THAT was a great kiss. What are we? I do not know. I was hoping we could talk about that."

Harry nodded and pulled Draco with him onto the bed, where he curled up against Draco. Draco sighed in contentment and wrapped his arms around Harry. "You seem at a loss for words, so I will go first. I would like to date you, Harry. Would you like to be my boyfriend?"

Draco gazed down at Harry as the raven hair boy processed the question. There was a struggle of emotions playing across his face. Draco really wanted this, more than anything. For the moment, he dropped his mask. The mask his father had built and instilled in him since he was little. He showed the care, longing and vulnerability to Harry. Draco was worried Harry would say no; yet, even if he did say no, Draco would still care and be his friend if he was willing.

Harry closed his eyes as a tear escaped down. Draco tenderly kissed the trail of the tear, eliciting a small gasp from Harry. "Why? Why me? Why us? We've… we've always hated each other…"

Draco cupped Harry's chin in his hand. "People change, Harry. Please say yes."

Harry closed his eyes again. He hated doing this. He hated disappointing anyone, especially Draco right now, but he was so confused. How could Draco expect him to decide something like this so fast? Harry's hand covered Draco's that was on his face, "I can't… but I don't want to say no either. Can you please not ask yet? Just give me a little more time?"

Harry's eyes were closed so he didn't notice the quick tear that escaped Draco's eye as he quickly threw his mask back on. If Harry needed just a friend right now, he would offer that. He would give him time even if it hurt inside.

"Draco… could you hold me until I fall asleep? I don't think I can make it to class."

Draco smiled as Harry curled tighter against Draco's frame. "Sure, Harry. I can do that." He watched the raven hair beauty as he slowly drifted to sleep in his arms. He would receive hell for missing classes, especially potions, but it was worth it to watch Harry sleep. He softly smiled as he lightly ran his hand through the black locks. At first glance it appeared rough, but it was soft as horse hair. Draco sighed contentedly. The only aspect that marred this perfect moment was Harry's reluctance to say yes. Hopefully, it was only a matter of time.

Carefully, Draco disentangled himself from Harry and left the room. He didn't know all the locking spells Harry would use, but he casted a few he knew and keyed them to only allow Harry or himself in and out. As a second thought, he casted a silencing charm as well. He had recognized Harry taking one of those down as they had entered the room. With that task completed, he headed for the Headmistress's office. He had to notify her of Harry's absence and obtain all of the work he and Harry would both miss.

---

At dinner that night, Draco kept one eye on Harry as often as he could. He was worried what influence the other members of the Golden Trio might have on Harry. They were the ones who might persuade Harry to tell him no, and he would not let them come between him and Harry. Draco was a little startled as he watched Harry during the meal. His fork rarely met his lips. His place was covered in food, but it slowly disappeared at random intervals. 'Most likely banishing parts of it. Why is he not eating though? What is with the tugging on his robes as well? Rather odd behavior. I do not remember him ever having that habit before. Maybe it is a nervous twitch he has developed in crowds?' Draco frowned as he took in Harry's appearance as well. He was getting paler than normal. There were heavy bags under his eyes and a jerkiness to his movements. 'Why haven't I noticed that before?'

Draco's observations were cut short when he was jabbed in the ribs. He turned with a scowl planted firmly on his face to glare at the offender. Pansy had a similar scowl planted on her face as she stared Draco down.

"Drakie, darling," she started, "I've been waiting for a private moment to speak with you about something, but I haven't been able to catch you alone recently. I've missed you." As she spoke, her hard glare turned into a flirtatious smile. She draped her arm over his shoulders and leaned in closer. "Why don't we have some fun tonight, Drakie?"

Draco's scowl held firm as he struggled to not lash out at her in this public setting. It was likely why she had chosen now to give this display. He was too predictable. He would never cause a scene here in front of the other houses. "Pansy, please remove yourself from my body."

"Oh, but last I remember, you were quite fond of me being draped all over you…"

"That was a long time ago, and, if I remember correctly, I already told you we are through. Please try to learn that."

"You are quite annoying, Drakie." Pansy huffed and wiggled herself closer to him. "I do have something important and private I would like to talk with you about. Can we meet tonight, in the common room, say at 10?"

Draco sighed. 'If it will get her bloody paws off of me, why not?' "Sure, Pans, but we are still through no matter what." Draco glared at her waiting for her acknowledgment of the fact, but he never heard it, for heavy foot falls and the slamming of the Great Hall door broke their little reverie.

Pansy giggled, "Oh my! Looks like something has gotten into Potter!"

Draco eyed the witch who was almost in his lap, "Why do you say that?"

Pansy pointed to his vacant seat, "He was totally sulking one second and the next he ran out and slammed the door!"

Draco promptly shoved Pansy off of him and left the Great Hall. He had a suspicion he knew what had caused Harry's anger fit. It hadn't occurred to him to force Pansy off of him to avoid confusing Harry as to his intentions. He probably thought Draco had rebounded to another person. Draco quickly cast a silencing spell on his feet and booked it. He had to catch up to Harry before he locked his room up. As he rounded the corner he saw Harry, hand on the door handle as he opened his room. Draco ran in and forced by Harry as he was about to close it.

Harry stared wide eyed at Draco then slammed the door. "What do you want!"

Draco sighed, "Harry, it's not what you think…"

Harry glared at Draco and pointed to the door, "GET OUT!"

Draco straightened his back and righted his shoulders. He started directly into Harry's eyes and calmly replied, "No, Harry. We need to talk."

Harry's frame shook, his finger still pointed at the door. He opened his mouth but no sound escaped. He crumpled to the floor and cried. Draco knelt down and wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders. He murmured quietly into Harry's ear as he cried. When Harry had calmed down somewhat, Draco spoke up, "I am sorry, Harry, but it really was not what it looked like. At one time, yes, she was my fiancée of sorts. It was going to be an arranged marriage; however, I discarded the marriage contract before the summer even started. Even before the war started I wanted to end it with her, but I had to wait until I was able to. I was finally able to do that when I became the head of the family. She thinks she stands a chance to win me over again, but she doesn't stand a chance in hell, Harry."

Harry curled up further into Draco's embrace, "Why?"

Draco smiled down at Harry, one of his rare, true smiles. It made Harry's heart beat erratically with excitement. "Because, Harry, I want you."

"Why?"

"It is not that hard to understand, really. You are an amazing person. It is hard to even put it into words. Why do you find it hard to accept?"

Harry looked down at the arms encircling him and mumbled under his breath. As Draco was about to ask for him to clarify, Harry looked up again with fear shining through his eyes, "Can… can we talk… later? I need tonight to think."

Draco sighed. It hurt every time Harry refused him, but he would deal with it until Harry was ready. He nodded and gripped Harry a little tighter. Neither was in a hurry for the physical contact to end. They sat that way for a time. Neither spoke but it was not an awkward silence. It was a bonding type of silence where each grew accustomed to the other's smell and heart beat. When Draco noticed the time next, it was already nearing 10 pm.

Draco shook Harry, as he had fallen asleep at some point. "Harry… I need to go have a talk with Pansy, hopefully to clear things up. Will you be okay without me for tonight?"

Harry groggily looked into Draco's eyes as he owlishly blinked the sleep away. Several emotions passed across his face, accompanied with a weak tug on his robe. After some deliberation, Harry wrapped his arms around Draco. "I think so… I know this might sound wrong… as I'm still not ready to answer… but would you kiss me good night before you go?"

Draco's heart skipped a beat in joy. He stood up and picked up Harry in the process. Harry gave a slight yelp as his center of gravity was thrown off, but he quickly relaxed into Draco's arms. Draco carried him over to the bed and tucked him in. He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips across Harry's, who sighed in contentment. Draco smiled wide as he looked down at Harry's dreamy and blushing face. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, Draco."

Draco turned and left the room. Before he walked down the hall, he casted the same locking charms and silencing charm as last time. Inside the room, Harry quickly drifted off to sleep. It was the first night he was freed from nightmares and his once routine, sweet release.

---

Draco arrived at the Slytherin common room a few minutes past ten. He already dreaded this conversation, especially as he was late. Pansy was going to be pissed. When he spotted her sitting near the fire, he was shocked. She wasn't pacing and cursing under her breath. She had her wand on the table next to her almost out of reach. She was sitting quietly swinging the leg she had crossed over her other.

Draco slowly walked up, making a little noise to announce his arrival, and sat down next to her, "Sorry for being late, Pans, I was held up unexpectantly."

Pansy eyed him for a moment and noticed the flushed look. She highly doubted he had run here, so it must have been what she suspected. Her Drakie was cheating on her with another girl.

"So who have you been cheating on me with Drakie?"

Draco widened his eyes in confusion. 'Does she know about Harry?' He decided to play along and hopefully get more information out of her. "Pansy, why can you not accept that we are not a couple? We will never be a couple."

Pansy rolled her eyes. She was not one to be told what to do. She was not one to be out done by some hussy. "Tell me what girl you've been cheating on me with. I'll take care of her and we'll get back together."

Draco nodded. He knew Pansy better than she knew herself. She fancied herself the hottest thing on two legs. She was right if you only counted girls. If you counted guys as well, Harry definitely had her beat. The two were very different though. Pansy was a blonde hair blue eye goddess. Harry was a raven hair and emerald eye god. "Pans, is this all because you think I found a girl prettier than you?"

Pansy's leg stopped bouncing as she responded, "…No…"

Draco sighed. Of course he had nailed the issue. She was too insecure to ask out right if he thought she was unbecoming. "Pans, you are one of my best and only friends lately. I did not find another girl."

A small tear made it down Pansy's cheek. "Then I don't get it, Drakie. Why can't we get back together?"

Draco stood up and walked to her chair and wiped the stray tear away. Slytherins did not show weakness. He would not allow Pansy to feel embarrassed about the situation later. He sighed. 'I guess I should tell her I am gay at least.' He cleared his throat as he took hold of Pansy's hands, "I did not find another girl, but I did find a boy…"

"A boy? What does that… OH!" Pansy's eyes glazed over, oddly similar to Loony Lovegood. Draco waved his hand in front of her face, trying to bring her attention back.

"You there, Pans? Are you okay?"

"Oh thank Merlin!"

Draco frowned at the relief in her voice, "What?"

"You're GAY!"

Draco's eyes widened and he peeked around the room to make sure no one else had come in.

"Keep it down! But yes, I am."

"Thank Merlin, Draco! I thought something was wrong with me. Maybe I was too ugly or not trying hard enough… or… or something!" Pansy started to smile as she thought about it more. It all made sense. He had never made a real pass at her, just taken her to dances and formal occasions. It would have looked odd if a Malfoy went to an event without a date or with a male date.

Draco giggled in a very un-Malfoy manner, "No, no, no. Haha. It was never you Pans. I was actually hoping you would be willing to be the surrogate for our children. Well, that is if things go well and IF Harry wants kids."

"Harry?"

Draco froze. What had he done? Harry had yet to even agree to date him. How would he react if Pansy went and blabbed they were planning to have kids already? "Shit. Me and my mouth, look, Pans…"

"Harry POTTER!"

Draco clamped a hand over her mouth which she quickly swiped away. "Keep it down! YES! That Harry."

"Wow! Oh my… You better make things work. Just imagine having his kids. Oh, I hope they keep his green eyes over my blue." The dreamy expression, reminiscent of Loony Lovegood, was back again.

Draco groaned, "Pans, you are getting ahead of yourself here. He is still unaware that I "like" him so far."

This snapped Pansy out of her trance and a hardened, murderous glare graced her features, "LIKE! You're ditching me just because you LIKE someone!"

"No, Pans. It is more than that, just I have to start at the bottom and work my way up with him."

With Draco's reassurances, Pansy calmed down again and thought a moment before she responded, "Oh, so you do love him."

Draco flushed at this. He was acting less and less like a Malfoy. 'What is Harry doing to me?' Draco attempted to respond, but only managed to stutter, "I… I…"

"Do you or don't you!"

"I DO! Jeesh, are you happy now?"

Pansy winked at him, "Yes! Now let's set out your Potter seduction plan."

Draco groaned again. "Look, Pans, I love you like a sister, but I cannot just make a 'seduction plan' to win him over. He does not work that way. He needs time to adjust to the idea I think. I am sure he likes me, just he is not sure what the glorious remaining duo of the golden trio will think or say about it." Draco frowned. He was seriously worried about their reaction. From his observations, Hermione or the Weasel's negative response could be enough to drive Harry away from him. It was a very sobering thought.

Pansy patted his head as she stood up, "Don't worry, Draco. I'll help keep an eye out for any major spats. If it looks like they're going to blow a fuse, I'll help with a distraction, okay?"

Draco nodded and they exchanged good night farewells as they made their way to their respective rooms.


	4. Chapter Four: Confusion and Happiness

Note: I was working with a Beta, but they ran off without finishing the process. I can't promise perfection or if everything is consistent. I've tried. Sorry for the loooong delay. Ugh, I hate leaving author notes. Oh well. If anything is wrong/messed up, please let me know!

Chapter 4: Confusion and Happiness

"Ron!" Harry called out to the red head he saw heading around the corner. It had been a few days and he had yet to hear anything from Ron or Hermione. Harry pushed his way through the crowd to follow the blob of red walking away. In the few classes he shared with Ron, he had moved his seat far away from him. At meals he would either eat in a different spot or find someone else to fill the spot Harry normally had. Harry had just stopped going to meals. He was not starving himself. He would just go to the kitchens and grab a snack.

With a sigh he gave up his chase, Ron obviously wanted to get away, and, in this crowd, there was no way Harry was going to catch up to him. Harry had only made it a few feet into the opposing movement of the other students and was already winded. He found an alcove and sat down. He was feeling a lot weaker than normal lately. It was likely just the weather or maybe the lack of food. He had been eating light, but he was used to that. He stayed there for a few minutes until he decided to get up. The crowd had thinned as classes were starting. Harry had this time free though. He had progressed far enough in Transfigurations that McGonagall had given him independent study time. He headed towards the library to find Hermione. 'I really need to see her about Draco… I don't want to decide this on my own.'

He hurried to the halls and quietly entered the library. He looked down every isle he came to in search of the bushy brown hair he was so familiar with. He was nearing the back of the library, all hope almost gone, when he spotted her in the restricted section. The door was surprisingly unlocked. He walked in and tapped her on the shoulder, "Hey, Hermione." 'When did it become Hermione over Mione?'

She turned, a large tome in her hands, and replied without looking up, "Hey, Harry. I'm in the middle of something, is it important?"

'She isn't even looking up. She isn't even acknowledging me. ' He wanted to scream at her, 'Yes, it bloody hell is important! I'm dreaming about taking it up the arse from Draco!' He wanted to shake some sense into her. She had always been more observant than he wanted. She had always been so damn clever. She had always cared. She had always been willing to listen. He turned around and walked away. As he was leaving, he thought he heard someone absently call his name, but he continued on. He would decide on his own.

Head down, he stared at the ground as he walked back towards his room. It would not matter if he went to class or not. He had already turned in the homework for the next week. No sleep was handy every now and then. As much as it had been happening, he was feeling a little wobbly and weak on his feet. He hated sleeping. He really needed to, but he hated it. He could never sleep for long. His nightmares always came back. 'Except for when Draco kissed me good night…' He sighed and kicked at an imaginary rock on the ground. His musings were rather interrupted as someone shoved him into the wall. He tried to turn as he was shoved, but it ended up with him smacking face first into the wall. He heard a crack as his glasses broke on impact. He turned to see his attacker but everything was too blurry. All he could make out was a floating head of red.

'Why… why does Ron hate me so much?' A tear trickled down his cheek as he limped to his room. 'Must have twisted it when I tried turning.' A flare of pain shot up his leg with every step, but he was used to physical pain. He was used to emotional pain too, just this hurt so much. 'I want Draco.' That thought stopped him for a moment. He wanted Draco. Not Hermione to comfort him. Not his blade to release him. Draco. He wanted Draco to hold him. He limped in another direction heading to Draco's last class of the day. He would wait there for him.

Ancient Runes let out a few minutes late. Draco scowled. It had been a boring day without Harry. How the git had managed to get out of classes without any point penalties was beyond Draco. Every teacher had smiled when he mentioned the golden boy's absence. 'He is so infuriating at times. Not only does he miss all of his classes but all the teachers are giving him good marks. What the bloody hell!' It was on this note he finally finished packing his things and walked out the door. He was the last to leave so he closed the door behind him to give the teacher his privacy for grading. As he turned from the door he was startled when he heard a very familiar voice call out, "Draco."

He looked across the hall into the alcove and saw none other than his Harry with a small grin on his face. Draco schooled his mask into place before he walked over and kneeled down by the sitting boy. "Hey Harry, I didn't expect to see you today after you have missed EVERY class. Why do you think you…" A growl was drawn from his throat as he took in Harry's appearance. His glasses were broken in his hands. He had scraps on his face along with a bruise. His right ankle was swollen as well. "Bloody, Harry, what happened to you?" Draco's mask fell off as his concern over rode his years of training.

Harry smiled, "Don't worry about it, Draco. Would you mind helping me to my room? I can't seem to walk any further."

Draco growled, "I am not going to drop this for good. We **will** talk later." Draco grabbed Harry's offered hand and pulled the smaller boy to his feet. He wrapped Harry's arm around his shoulder and wrapped his own around Harry's waist. It felt nice to have the other boy's heat on his side. He shivered and had to fight hard to school his features. He wanted to give Harry a chance to decide. He did not want to just jump him as that would scare him off.

It only took a few minutes before they were at Harry's room. Harry waved his hand and released all of the locking charms. They entered the room and Draco lowered him onto an arm chair near the door. While Harry wandlessly recasted the locking charms, Draco kneeled and examined the twisted ankle. He pulled out his wand and casted a few spells on it. The swelling went down and the pain severely dropped. With that done he looked at Harry's face as he clucked his tongue in irritation and casted a few more spells. Looking at Harry's broken glasses, he decided to take something that had bothered him into his own hands. He searched his memory for the right incantation and pointed his wand at Harry's eyes.

Harry stuttered when he saw the wand so close, "Wha… what are you doing, Draco?" Draco ignored him and cast a rather long spell in Latin. A glow formed on the end of the wand and darted into both eyes. Harry yelped as sudden warmth spread from his eyes to the rest of his head. He covered both eyes with his hands as he weakly tried to kick Draco. "What the hell, Draco! What did you do to my eyes?"

Draco smugly smirked then sighed in irritation. It was not as much fun to smirk if the person you were doing it to refused to open their eyes. "Open your eyes so you can see my smirk, git."

Harry frowned and moved his hands away as he slowly opened his eyes. The light burned for the briefest of moments, but it passed quickly and Harry opened his mouth, unable to form words. 'I can see! Without glasses!'

Draco smirked again as Harry looked up at him. The smirk was quickly dropped as Harry moved a hand and cupped Draco's cheek. Draco moved his face into the touch and closed his eyes. Harry didn't know why he was doing it, but he leaned forward and pulled Draco down with his other hand into a kiss. It was a light and feathery kiss that ended all too quickly for Draco's liking.

"Sorry." Harry said as he blushed profusely. The color lighted his cheeks and stained down his neck. Draco chuckled as he took in the sight. He refused to blink or reply for a moment so he could absorb the sight into his memory.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Harry. I quite liked it." He chuckled as Harry's blush deepened. "Have you given any further thought to my question?"

At this Harry dropped his head and stared at the rug as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Draco's heart dropped for a moment. He was sure the kiss had been a sign it was okay to press forward. Was it still too soon? Had he screwed everything up? Before he could have a break down, Harry grabbed one of Draco's hands and played with it with both hands. The contact sent a spark up Draco's spine. Maybe he had not screwed up yet.

"I…," Harry stumbled, "I… I'm not sure for sure yet. Can I sleep on it, please?" Harry looked up with doubt and insecurity in his eyes. Draco swallowed the lump in his throat. 'Damn, he so has me wrapped right around his finger.' Draco sighed and nodded. He stood to go when Harry captured his hand again. Harry was not looking at Draco though. Harry had taken additional interest into the pattern on the rug. Draco was mystified as a Harry's blush turned a deeper red and traveled farther down, below the neck line. Draco raised an eyebrow in question and waited for Harry to explain.

"Would you… could you… would you mind… ?"

Harry still did not look up as Draco chuckled and kneeled in front of Harry again. Draco lifted Harry's head to they were looking eye to eye. "I am sorry, but all I got out of that was would you and night."

Harry tried to look down but repeated himself slower, "Would you please spend the night with me?"

Harry turned his head slightly. It could not be the sort of invitation his dirty mind wanted to twist it into, could it? "What exactly do you mean? I can come back after dinner for a little bit if that is what you want, is it?"

Harry looked a little crestfallen when he mentioned coming back later. He decided to try a different approach, "Or did you mean stay here, get the house elves to send us dinner, and talk some, almost like a date?" Draco winked at the end, eliciting a chuckle from Harry along with another round of blushing. 'If I can keep him blushing like that for the rest of my life, I swear I will try my best to do it every minute I can. So beautiful.'

"Well, I meant spend the night, but everything else included would be nice too." At this Harry managed to snap his head out of Draco's clutches and to observe the rug some more. Draco was shocked to say the least. 'Spend the night?'

"Where would I sleep, Harry?"

The blush deepened, "With me, prat. We would keep our clothes on. I… I just like it when you hold me…"

Draco smiled and startled the smaller boy by swooping him up into his arms. He bridal style carried Harry to the bed and laid him down, who was still blushing like crazy. Draco kicked off his shoes and pulled Harry's off at the same time. He jumped up on the bed, bouncing Harry a little in the process, and cozied up behind Harry. He wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and sighed in contentment. "Like this, Harry?"

"…yea. Like this."

Harry smiled. He was warm. He was content. He was happy here. Was it what he wanted though? Was the person behind the warmth and comfort who he needed? What about a family? What about Ron and Hermione? What would Mrs. Weasley think? He pushed the insecurities aside and decided to enjoy the moment for now. He soon dozed off into a deep and restful sleep.

It was not for a few hours before he woke up. He was cold and alone on top of the sheets. He frowned as he felt around the bed. 'Where is Draco?'

"Hey, sleepy head." A warm hand lightly traced his cheek and he smiled.

"Draco!"

Draco chuckled and crawled into bed next to Harry. He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist again and smiled when he heard a small moan come from Harry. "So warm, Dray."

Draco rested his head on Harry's shoulder and tightened his grip possessively. "Dray, is it?"

All he heard back was a muffled, "Mmm hmm." He squeezed Harry one last time before he lightly shook Harry and unwrapped his arm.

"Come on, Harry. You slept all the way through dinner. I asked Dobby to make us something special to eat."

"…mmm… not hungry Dray."

Draco chuckled and leaned close to Harry's ear and blew warm air on it as he spoke, "But I thought you would enjoy the strawberries with chocolate dipping sauce along with chocolate tart."

Draco's breathing stilled for a moment in response to the moan his ministrations on Harry's ear had elicited from the smaller boy.

"Only if you hold me while we eat."

Draco's smile was brilliant enough to blind as he pulled his sleepy Harry out of bed and sat him down at the transfigured couch in front of a small table. There was a small plate with pizza on it next to bowls filled with various fruit. In the middle of the table was a miniature chocolate fountain. Despite his claim of not being hungry, Harry ate a generous portion of the pizza followed by a sickening amount of chocolate covered fruit and chocolate covered tart. There were a few awkward moments when Harry caught Draco openly staring at Harry's mouth as he sucked the chocolate off of a strawberry, but it was a glorious time. Harry thoroughly enjoyed himself for the first time in a long time.

When the food was finished and cleared away by the house elves, Harry looked at Draco thoughtfully. 'Normally I would call him a prat, but he has been rather sweet. The Draco I used to know would never have arranged for something like this. Why me? Why does he like me when even Ron hates me for some reason?'

"Knut for your thoughts, Harry?"

Harry turned and looked into Draco's eyes. 'Well, it's not like Hermione has given me any time to ask her. I guess I'm on my own with this one.' Harry swallowed nervously and tugged Draco behind him towards the bed. Harry pulled off his shirt and pants and crawled under the sheet, waiting for Draco to follow. When Draco did not immediately follow, Harry looked up and reached a hand out towards the boy, silently imploring him to follow. Draco took off his pants and shirt as well then climbed under the blankets with Harry. Harry immediately cuddled up to Draco, both of their faces inches apart.

"Draco, "whispered Harry quietly, "if I ask you something, would you answer me honestly?"

Draco reached a hand out and stroked Harry's cheek as he replied, "Yes, anything you want to know I will tell, if it is mine to tell."

Harry nodded and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of Draco's fingers on his face. He silently built up his courage to ask, "Why do you like me?"

Draco's fingers stilled as he digested the question. 'Why do I like him? Is he so blind he cannot see himself?' Draco sighed and resumed the movement of his fingers. "Why do I like you? Are you really that blind, Harry?"

Harry did not respond vocally. He kept his eyes closed and nodded. Draco smiled, "First, you are too damn handsome for your own good. If you think about it, Harry, we have always been passionate towards one another. Before it was animosity, now it isn't. I was confused before. I adored my parents. I worshipped the ground they walked on. I was raised to be proud and to remind others I was better than them. Everything I was taught was shattered when I saw my proud father bend before Voldemort and kiss his hem. My father acted like a simple peasant. I was so confused for so long. I have only now started to make sense of it. I think my parents were right in a way. It is good to be proud. It is good to be intelligent. It is good to treasure your family above others. It is good as long as you stick with it. However, it is not good to be ignorant and blindly follow in the name of power. It is not good to turn your back on the values you claim to hold. Can you understand that, Harry?"

Harry nodded but refused to open his eyes or to speak. Draco ploughed forward, "When my father died, I thought I would be broken. I thought I would mourn him and seek revenge. Instead, I fled for comfort, safety and as far from his empty shell as I could. I never cried over his death. I have cried over the fact that I really didn't love my father, but I never cried for the man who was my father. When I ran from his dead corpse, where did I go?"

At this Draco gripped Harry's jaw with his hand lightly, "I ran to you. I ran to you and your foolish friends who thought they could stand up against a dark lord. I helped you. I ended up giving my own mother up. True, it was for her own good, but I still betrayed my family. If I had to do it again, I would. Do you know why, Harry?"

Harry shook his head, brows knitted in confusion. "I did it because of you, Harry. I saw you with your friends up close for once. I saw your pain, but I also saw your loyalty. Even when things were dark and maddening, you and your friends remained together. You held them up when they needed it. They held you up when you needed it. The atmosphere around all of you was warm, gentle, kind and prideful, in a way. You took pride in each other's successes and each other's failures. I realized I wanted that. I wanted to be cared for, and I wanted someone to care for. I wanted someone who would be loyal and who I would be proud to be loyal to."

Draco stopped and chuckled at this point. "Given, I never imagined I would want you, Harry. At the time I was slightly resentful that I had to turn over my mother and some of my old friends. When it was all over though and Voldemort was dead, I watched you in the hospital until you were better. Since then, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. I want you, Harry. Question is do you want me? Do you like me?"

A tear worked its way out of Harry's closed eyes and onto the blanket below. Draco kissed the trail left behind by the offending water. His Harry should never cry. His Harry should never know distress. The notion of Harry being his filled Draco with a strong warm feeling throughout his chest.

"Can I still sleep on it, Draco?"

Draco's heart fell again. 'Can you sleep on it? No! I need to know, Harry. It is driving me mad not knowing!' "Sure, Harry."

The next morning was slightly awkward, but they managed to get through it. Harry blushed red the entire time, starting as soon as he realized why he was so warm. He was in Draco's arms. It calmed him so much to be in those arms. They each dressed quickly and headed off to breakfast. Draco would likely have an inquiring Pansy on his hands. 'She's going to think I jumped him last night or something.'

When they reached the Great Hall, Draco hugged Harry briefly before entering the hall and sitting down at Slytherin. Harry hurried over to the end of the Gryffindor table and grabbed a few biscuits and bacon to nibble on. His eyes continually strayed to the Slytherin table to look at Draco as he considered the possibilities of dating him. Would he stay the same? Would he return to his cold hearted persona? 'Will he hurt me like everyone else?'

He was slightly distracted from his thoughts as he observed Pansy next to Draco. She would usually be all over him, literally trying to grope him at the breakfast table. This morning her cheeks were stained a faint pink, and she kept stealing glances over at the Ravenclaw table. He followed the gaze to Luna, who he noticed was staring right back with a smile on her face. 'Hmm... I wonder if Luna finally made her move? I hope so. It's about bloody time.'

It was afternoon on the next day and Harry was livid. Potions had been a disaster. Ron had sabotaged his potion. Slughorn had been busy elsewhere so failed to notice. Needless to say Harry was not happy having to redo all of the work. Even having to redo it, though, he was still finished before Ron and his partner. Also, Draco had been quiet and reserved during the class, which made Harry worried. Had he offended Draco asking him to wait? Had Draco changed his mind? To top that off, all of his teachers and several students pestered him about his health throughout the day.

"Oh, you look pale, Harry…"

"Are you getting enough sleep?"

"You should really try to eat more for breakfast…"

"Are those bags under your eyes, young man? Sleep is an important function, especially for growing young boys…"

All day he was relentlessly hounded. He needed release and he needed it now. Instead of heading to his last class, he stormed towards his room and slammed the door behind him. He was digging in his trunk when he heard the door open and close behind him. Terrified of his dark friend being seen, he tucked it back into its sheath and turned around to face the intruder. His anger melted when he saw shimmering silver eyes boring into his.

"Draco…"

"Harry, " Draco interrupted, "I've been thinking and I'm worried. Are you okay? You seemed to sleep last night, but after watching you all day I'm not sure. Are you sleeping enough? You haven't been eating that much either, and don't try to tell me otherwise. You might fool Granger by banishing your food, but you can't fool me."

Harry's temper returned full force. All of the earlier aggravation stemmed to the front of his mind and blinded his rational side. This was Draco, but at the moment he envisioned everyone who had pestered him today, "Why the bloody hell does it matter? Why do you bloody care?"

Draco was stunned. He was sincerely concerned. 'What bloody hell makes him think he can yell at me for being concerned?' Draco was about to retaliate when he caught sight of Harry's eyes. They burned with anger. Harry was panting, obviously strained near the point of breaking. Draco sighed. He loved the git, and Harry obviously had yet to catch on.

"Haven't I made it obvious to you yet, Harry?"

Draco's voice was smooth and calm. Part of Harry had expected an enraged Draco to retaliate, to take the bait and argue. However, another side of Harry had desperately hoped for some reassurance. He wanted someone to just hold him right now. He wanted release, and Draco promised that.

"What?" Harry managed to stutter back.

Draco sighed with a slight smile on his face, "I love you, you git."

Harry's heart stopped in that moment. All time and meaning stopped as he absorbed the words. 'Draco… loves…me? Why? I don't get it… but… but he said it. Draco said it. He loves me! Who cares why, he loves me!'

Harry fell to the ground and sobbed. Draco, eyebrows knit in confusion and concern swooped down to comfort the frail boy. "Harry, are you okay?" Draco didn't receive a verbal response as Harry continued to cry. He had wrapped his arms around his knees, slightly rocking in Draco's embrace. Draco soothed him with comforting words whispered in his ear and by gently rubbing circles on his back.

When Harry had calmed down, Draco found himself on the receiving end of a very passionate kiss. This one was not light or feathery like their others. This was forceful and needy. Draco moaned his approval of the kiss as he licked Harry's lips, seeking entrance. The lips parted slightly and Draco took the opportunity and shoved his tongue deep inside Harry's mouth. Harry moaned as Draco explored the various corners of his mouth. When they released for breathe, Draco noticed tears on Harry's face. He carefully licked each tear path off of his beloved's face.

"What's wrong, Harry? Why are you crying? Are you okay?"

Harry smiled as he reached a hand out and pulled his fingers through Draco's blond hair, "I'm ok. I am more than okay. You are the first person to actually tell me that. It… it… it feels so good."

Draco frowned. 'The first person to tell him that? What about his family? The Golden Trio? The Weasleys?' He was about to ask before Harry continued, "Well, Hermione and Mrs. Weasley have, but I'm really not interested in either of them that way."

Draco chuckled and Harry smiled. He still had tear tracks on his cheeks, but his smile was brilliant and blinding to Draco. He loved to see his Harry smile, and he would give anything to keep that smile there. "So, Harry, does this mean you will be my boyfriend?"

"Yeah." Harry blushed and looked down as he grabbed one of Draco's hands and played with it.

"Are you ready for that though? And don't even think of yelling at me. I'm concerned and have every right to be."

Harry nodded. "I… I am ready to date you Draco."

Draco pulled Harry close and wrapped his arms. It was heavenly to just hold him like this. Draco smiled as he sighed, "I meant are you ready for everyone to know? The Prophet will have something to say along with the entire population of Britain. Your fan club will storm the walls and Creevey will be sneaking in to take pictures. Are you ready for that?"

Harry frowned and looked down. Draco continued as Harry thought it over, "I would do my best to protect you from it, and I am sure McGonagall would be willing to help. Just some will get through. No one can stop the other students from saying things, but I would be right there with you the whole time."

Harry brought his hands to hold onto Draco's wrapped around him, "Do you not want to tell everyone?"

Draco shook his head, "No, I want to tell everyone. I want to climb on top of the head table and scream across the Great Hall that I am yours and you are mine. I want to tell my Mother. I want to be the one who leaks it to the Prophet. But. I won't do that unless you want me to, Harry."

Harry shuddered and tensed as Draco spoke. He wanted to tell everyone; he really did. Just he could not do that yet. He was already stressed to the point he needed his release every day almost. He didn't want to make it worse. Besides now he had Draco. No one would have to know about it. Draco could be his release.

"I would prefer if we could keep it secret for now, Dray. I don't think I could take all of that right now."

"Okay, Harry. Just remember I might have to act my part though I promise to not let anyone else kiss me nor will I kiss them, ok?"

Harry nodded and relaxed into Draco's embrace. It felt so right to Harry to be wrapped up in Draco's warm arms. He was getting sleepy though. He broke free from Draco's arms and pulled Draco up with him. He stripped to his boxers and slipped into bed. This time Draco didn't need an invitation. He slipped out of his robes and other clothing then followed Harry into the bed. He spooned up behind Harry and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. Harry smiled as he felt sleep's approach. His friends were unavailable. Ron was a total ass. But. He had Draco.

"Night, night, Dray."

"Good night, Harry."


	5. Chapter Five: Fiery Assault

Chapter 5: Fiery Assault

The next day Harry spent walking around in a daze. He was happy. He was blissfully happy. He was Draco's boyfriend. The only damper on his cheery mood was he had yet to tell his friends he was gay, let alone who he was dating. He had decided today he would tell them. Well, first he hoped to find them and tie them down for a few seconds at least. This is why he wandered between the library and Gryffindor tower. He would run into at least Hermione at some point today.

It was on one of his return trips to the library that he finally ran into his friends. They were just leaving the library. 'Why didn't I think to check IN the library?' Harry shook his head and approached his friends as they started to walk the other way.

"Hermione, Ron, wait!"

Hermione and Ron turned. Ron had a scowl on his face while Hermione smiled briefly. "Hi, Harry. Need something? We're on our way to work on our Care of Magical Creatures project."

"Oh, umm…" Discussing touchy subjects had never been his forte. He had every intention of telling them he was gay, but now that he was face to face with them, he wasn't sure on how to proceed.

"Spit it out, Potter," spat Ron. Hermione turned and glared at Ron.

'Well, at least she's on my side…' Harry swallowed the lump forming in his throat and looked straight at Hermione, "I wanted to let you know that… I'm gay."

Hermione's eyebrows knitted in confusion, "And? What's the big deal?"

Harry's face split into a big grin. He had no idea how she would react. She was muggle born and grew up with the idiotic prejudice of the muggle world. He should have known he could count on her. He turned to Ron and his smile vanished. He was suddenly very, very afraid. Ron's usually pale skin bright red with spots of purple at the neck. It seemed as if he was no longer breathing as steam poured out of his ears. It was only a matter of time until he snapped and…

"YOU'RE WHAT?"

Hermione glared at Ron and ripped her hand out of his. "Ouch, Ron, you hurt my hand!"

"YOU'RE A BLOODY FAGGOT?"

Harry tried to control his emotions. He tried very hard. He was angry. He was hurt. He was scared. He loved Ron like a brother. He thought the wizarding world was accepting of gays. Ron hadn't blown up like this when he found out his brother Charlie was gay. He wasn't this angry then. Why was he so mad all of a sudden? His train of thought was derailed in a blur as a sudden pain flared to life as a sickening crunch of bone echoed in his ears in response to the fist in his face.

Blood curled down his broken nose as Ron started to kick Harry in the ribs. Harry wasn't sure, but he thought he heard more of the sickening crunches as the foot landed against his ribs.

Hermione cried out and pulled at Ron's arm trying to drag him away. Despite her frantic efforts, the attack continued for a good few minutes. Black dots clouded Harry's vision as he slowly fell into unconsciousness. He didn't know how long he had been out, but he was jostled awake as his body slightly swayed side to side. He groaned and opened his eyes. The familiar white ceiling of the hospital ward caught his attention.

"Madame Pomfrey!"

Draco's urgent cry altered Harry to the other boy's presence. Adrenaline raced through his veins as his mind quickly processed what had happened and what could now happen. If the healer found his scars there would be questions, so many questions he would rather not face. Silently he threw all of his magic into creating a stronger glamour over the scars on his arms. With the magic in place, his body sagged. He looked over to where he heard Poppy talking with Draco as they rushed towards his bed.

'Odd… where's Hermione?' Harry thought. The swaying motion that had him feeling a little nauseous yet must have been Draco carrying him. The image of Draco carrying him brought a slight blush to his cheeks despite the pain his body was in. Pain was nothing new to Harry and he welcomed it. His inner thoughts were interrupted when the healer arrived at his side and casted various body scan spells.

Draco noticed Harry's eyes open and walked to his side and gripped the raven haired boy's hand. His eyes were red and had tear tracks under them. 'Why had Draco been crying?'

After the scans were completed, the healer released a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding. He had extensive damage, yes, but he would live. She summoned various potions and forced them down Harry's throat. He had some broken bones, too many bruises to count, and various other problems. Silence reigned as she poured all of her concentration into making Harry better. Draco and Harry stared openly at each other, each trying to read the other.

Once Poppy was sure everything was as it should be, she quickly made herself scarce. She didn't want to disturb the couple, and Harry knew by now that he wasn't going anywhere until tomorrow if then. Draco continued the staring contest. He wanted Harry to speak first, to tell him who did this. From the looks of things, it would not happen on its own. Steeling his resolve, Draco cleared his throat and asked, "Who?"

Harry looked away from his boyfriend. 'I want to tell him, but I don't want Ron to get in trouble. Something is wrong with him. If this gets out he'll be sent to Azkaban or expelled. I can't let that happen.' Harry shook his head as moisture started to build up in his eyes. This didn't escape Draco's notice.

"Harry, you have to tell me. I need to know who I need to go seriously maim or kill. Tell me, please."

Harry shook his head harder as the tears escaped. They marred the raven hair boy's beautiful skin as the twin rivers slithered down his cheeks and onto the bed below. Draco leaned forward and wiped the tears away, soon replacing his fingers with chaste kisses all over Harry's face. He paid special attention to avoid Harry's nose. It had been healed, but it was still sore.

"Harry, please tell me. I don't want secrets between us. I want to help you, with everything. Please let me in, Harry."

Draco's pleading voice broke Harry's heart. He wanted to let him in, so bad, but he did not want to hurt Ron in any way.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone or get revenge."

Draco with drew a few inches so he could see into the emerald depths he loved so much. He could see the pain, confusion and hesitation. Draco nodded, "I swear, Harry."

As Harry was about to speak, a tawny brown owl flew into the hospital wing with a loud squawk. It landed on Harry's bed, away from Malfoy. It lifted its leg towards Harry who stared at the owl. His breathing became erratic and his eyes widened in fear. Draco, noticing the signs of panic, quickly untied the letter and kissed Harry's face once more as he whispered soothing words. It took a while, but Harry eventually calmed down.

When his breathing returned to normal, Draco leaned back again and watched Harry's face as he handed the letter to the shaken boy. "Why does this letter have you scared, Harry?"

Harry unsealed the envelope without responding. He slowly read the parchment as tears welled up in his eyes. A deep pain ripped through his frame as he read.

_Potter,_

_Your kind is not wanted or needed. Why don't you just go off yourself? Seeing as that unfortunately won't happen (or maybe it will? One can only hope.), I wanted to let you know we never want to see your face again. By __WE__ I mean myself and my family. Don't bother coming to the Burrow. Go have fun with your Uncle over the holidays. Now that I know the real you, I'm no longer surprised over why no one loves you._

_Ron Weasley_

"It was Ron."

Draco's eyes widened. For a moment, his vision was blinded with red. He would get revenge. He would have that filth expelled from school and shunned by all of society. 'How dare he touch my Harry!'

"Draco, you promised you wouldn't tell anyone or get revenge. Please don't. I need you right now."

Harry reached forward and pulled the other boy to him in a tight embrace. It was no lie. Harry needed Draco right now. He wanted so bad to run to his room and cut until he couldn't feel anymore. He had the suspicion that if he started cutting now, he wouldn't stop until he was dead. It scared him. He didn't want to die. He wanted love. He wanted a family. He had thought the Weasleys were his family, but obviously this was just another lie in life. He prayed that Draco did not turn out to be the same. He hoped Draco would stay by him, even when he found out about Harry's cutting.

Draco gripped the smaller boy tighter and maneuvered his way into the bed alongside him. They remained in that position the rest of the night. They did not talk or kiss. They simply held each other as they both drifted off to sleep.

Harry awoke to the comforting pressure of Draco against his side. They must have fallen asleep in the bed. He reached to the nightstand out of habit, looking for glasses that weren't there. 'That's right. Draco fixed my vision.'

As Harry laid there, he thought back to his encounter with Ron. There was something tugging at his mind. In the moment, he had missed something important. Something that could explain things better, but right now he couldn't think what it was. When he returned to Grimwauld Place over the holidays he'd use the pensive the Headmaster had left him. Maybe viewing the event from another angle would clear things up.

His inner musings were interrupted by the delightful feeling of fingers running up and down his arm. 'Thank Merlin the glamor held through the night.' Harry turned his head and smiled at Draco, who was supporting himself on one elbow looking down at him.

"Morning, Harry. Anything hurt still?"

Harry shook his head, "A little sore, but I'm fine."

"I'll be the judge of that, Mr. Potter," said Madam Pomfrey as she entered the privacy screen. She flicked her wand and murmured spells under her breath. Her scans analyzed Harry from head to toe and back again several times before she was satisfied. "Well, Harry, seems you've made a lot of progress in the night. First time you've slept soundly in ages from what I understand from my scans. I wonder what… or whom… could have caused that, hmm?"

Harry blushed as the mediwitch chuckled. Draco pulled Harry to him and possessively wrapped his arms around him. Harry gratefully buried his face in Draco's neck.

"Now, now, Harry. No need to be shy around me. You are, after all, my most regular patient. No secrets between us. I am very happy you've found someone so caring, even if it did nearly shock me speechless. Now, in regards to your recovery, I will allow you to leave the infirmary and avoid some unwanted attention if you agree to spend the rest of the week at the very least obtaining peaceful sleep in the same manner as last night, understood?"

Draco and Harry both stared at the mediwitch and her knowing smile. They couldn't believe their ears! A school official was demanding they sleep together? It was true she stipulated in the same manner as last night, which meant no funny business, but still!

"Honestly, boys, close your mouths before you attract flies into my Infirmary!" Pomfrey chuckled as she walked towards the privacy screen. Before she left, she turned around and said, "I really am happy for you, Harry. You two can leave as soon as you want. Just take it easy and get a lot of sleep this next week. If you feel weak or have any pain, come see me right away." With that she left the closed off bed.

Harry and Draco exchanged smiles and slowly untangled themselves and stepped out of bed. They changed into the clothes house elves had laid out and walked towards the privacy screen together. Before Harry could pull it back, Draco grabbed him and pulled him close, tightly wrapping his arms around him in an intense hug. Harry quickly returned it, grateful for the strong reminder of Draco's support. As Draco loosened his grip, Harry started to turn back towards the screen when hands pulled him back. Lips touched his own and he gasped. Draco took advantage of the opening and entered Harry's mouth with his tongue. Harry moaned and wrapped his arms around Draco's neck for support, his knees suddenly weak.

They kissed and mapped each others' mouths until they needed air and broke apart briefly, just to continue again as soon as possible. Harry's heart was beating loudly in his ribcage as he felt evidence of Draco's desire pressing into his stomach. Harry's own desire was slightly rubbing against Draco's leg, creating an amazing friction.

Before it could go any further, Draco pulled back, his eyes dilated and burning. He wanted Harry very bad, but he knew it would be too fast for Harry. He would give Harry any space he needed until asked to give more. Harry whimpered at the loss of Draco's lips and the amazing friction. He pouted as he looked over at Draco with hunger in his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, Harry. There are so many wicked things I would like to do with you, but this is not the time or place. Plus, do you really want to do that? I won't lie; I would love to. I won't ever rush you into it though."

Draco's concern broke through the fog of desire wrapped around Harry's brain. He slowly processed what he had said and considered it. 'Am I ready for that? Do I want sex? Do I want Draco? I know I want him, but am I ready to be intimate? I… I couldn't handle if he left me after we did that if he finds out about… my cuts. I need to tell him about that first… I really need to tell him… someone…'

Harry smiled and gave Draco a peck on the cheek then hurried out of the privacy screen. As he hurried out of the ward, he heard steps following quickly behind him. A flushed Draco made it to Harry's side and mocked glared at Harry. Draco couldn't hold the glare long when Harry stared back with love and admiration shining in his eyes.

"Thank you, Dray, for caring so much."

It was quietly whispered so no one could over hear. Draco smiled and gave a slight nod. They continued to walk in silence until they reached Harry's room. Draco waited while Harry waved a hand to lower the wards for them. Once they were comfortably secluded inside the rooms, Draco wrapped Harry in another embrace. There was no kissing or erotic rubbing this time, just quiet conversation between the two. They talked for hours about many things from Quidditch to Transfigurations to everyday things. Harry almost told Draco about his blade a few times, but every time he wanted to something stopped him. He trusted Draco and he was beginning to strongly love the blonde, but he couldn't force himself to tell him yet.

The next day at breakfast was rather interesting to say the least. For the first time in Hogwarts history, students sat under different house banners than their own. Harry and Draco, one of the first there, sat at the Hufflepuff table in order to achieve maximum distance from the Gryffindor table and to sit in neutral territory for both. As friends of the two arrived, they blinked in confusion for a few minutes then proceeded to sit with them. As they did so, members of Hufflepuff arrived and sat at their table as well; however, there wasn't room for everyone. Some members of Hufflepuff move to the Gryffindor table. This caused there to not be enough room for all of the Gryffindors, and some had to squeeze onto the Ravenclaw table while the rest had to brave the Slytherin table.

As the staff arrived they looked down at the mix of students in utter confusion. What had caused half the school to eat anywhere but their usual seating? Headmistress McGonagall kept her face stern as she inwardly danced. 'It's about damn time the houses mingled!' They silently ate their breakfast as they all stood ready to intercede should any fights break out. Surprising the professors, no such fight broke out, not even from the Slytherin/Gryffindor/Ravenclaw table. Oddly enough all of the students seemed to be getting along quite well actually. In particular, Pansy Parkinson and Luna Lovegood had a group of all four houses around them chatting amicably. Even the spacey Luna and frigid Pansy were getting along.

Before any students could finish their meal, McGonagall stood up with a hasty sonorus. "Attention, everyone! I am most pleased with this morning's display of mingling between the houses. In celebration of school unity, the staff has decided to throw an impromptu Halloween dance. To help promote not only the mingling and understanding between houses but also the understanding and acceptance of muggles and muggleborn, the dance floor will be enchanted to transfigure any outfit you wear into an acceptable muggle equivalent. You may dress formally or in costume for the event, muggle or wizard style. The only restriction is you cannot dress up as a member of faculty or another current student.

Also, as Halloween is this Thursday, tomorrow's classes will be canceled. This day may be used to floo home or visit Hogsmead. Even students on detention may do so. The dance will be Thursday with classes canceled on Friday."

The students broke to applause and loud cheering as McGonagall sat back down. Three days of classes canceled and an extra Hogsmead day were cause for celebration. Harry worried his lower lip as he contemplated the ramifications of the dance. Since he didn't want anyone to know of his relationship with Draco, Draco would be forced to go with someone else and pretend to have a good time. Someone else would put their hands on Draco as they danced. This was not going to be easy.

It was the night of the dance and Harry twitched nervously in front of a full length mirror. He wanted to look perfect for Draco tonight. They wouldn't be able to dance together or even be seen talking to each other, but they would see each other. It was the only reason he was even going. It had been almost a few days since they had been able to meet. He longed to see Draco, to touch Draco. He sighed and with one last look in the mirror he headed for the Great Hall.

On his way, he contemplated on the hurt look in Draco's eyes when Harry didn't want to go with him. He had quickly assured Harry it was okay if he still wasn't ready, but Harry knew the blonde beauty was disappointed. Harry would need to tell Draco soon about his blade. He didn't want to lose Draco's interest, and he really wanted to move further into a relationship with Draco, which would mean going public. He wanted it so bad, yet at the same time he was scared.

He entered the gallantly decorated hall cautiously. He slipped to the side, staying within the shadows. As the other students danced and chatted, he remained hidden while watching his only one. Draco was with Daphne Greengrass, and Harry wanted to kill her at the moment. She had her hands all over what was his. He growled lowly when her hand slipped down Draco's back onto his ass. Thankfully Draco quickly moved it back up and graced her with a glare.

Harry smiled at that. In the next moment though, his happiness was dashed as she leaned in and kissed him. Draco quickly shoved her off, but it had still happened. He knew Draco could not have stopped it, but it still hurt. It hurt so badly. He could have prevented it by going to the ball with Draco. He could be the one fawning all over that glorious man.

With a tear running down his cheek, he stepped out from the shadows and towards the punch. It was, unfortunately, not spiked. As he sipped on the fruity concoction, the music of the current song slowed to almost a stop as the DJ picked up the mic, "This next song comes straight from the muggles. Big shout out to Headmistress McGonagall for fixing this all up. This one is called _Untouched_."

Harry's head shot over towards the floor as he heard the familiar beat begin. 'Well, it certainly fits my mood right now… why not?' He maneuvered around the group of people who had been talking near him and crossed the line separating the dance floor. It turned his black robes and slacks into tight black jeans and a form fitting black shirt. He maneuvered his way through the crowd until he was in the center. The beat of the song flowed through his body and found its matching partner in the sway of his hips. His hands ghosted over his body as the lyrics started:

_I feel so untouched and I want you so much  
That I just can't resist you, it's not enough to say that I miss you  
I feel so untouched right now, need you so much  
Somehow I can't forget you, I've gone crazy from the moment I met you_

The words started a fire in him he could not place. He longed for a touch, for a hug, for a kiss and for someone he could tell everything. He was tired of holding it in. He was tired of lying. He was tired, tired of so much. His hands ghosted over his form as he continued swaying and dipping to the beat of the music. Some girls gathered the courage and tried to join him, but he twisted in another direction. This dance was for him. For the gray eye devil who had captivated his mind and body without even touching him. Harry wanted Draco so bad. He was just afraid of rejection. Draco might have believed he wanted Harry, but what would Draco think once he knew everything? 'I bet he'll just love being woken up after a few hours of sleep every night. He wouldn't understand my dark savior… my blade. He would try taking it away. I can't… I can't be without it yet. But I want him… Will he accept me?'

Harry felt a few hands stray and touch him as he danced. He tried to avoid them, but they continued their assault on his private space, invaded his personal bubble. As the song winded down, Harry brushed past the various couples to get off of the dance floor. He only wanted to be touched by one person. By the rest he would rather be untouched. He was almost to the doors when a hand grabbed his black robes.

"Harry! Where'd you learn to dance like that?"

Harry turned around to face Lavender. Harry scratched his head and mumbled a response under his breath as he turned towards the door to leave. Before he could escape, she crept around him and stopped him by placing herself in front of his exit.

"Come on, Harry, spill."

He recognized Lavender's posture quite well. It was the defensive stance Hermione was always taking. It shouted 'argue with me and you die.' He sighed and relented, "I went to a few clubs over the summer, okay? Oddly enough my cousin dragged me out of the house to go. He wanted someone to go with so he wouldn't be too embarrassed."

Lavender arched an eyebrow. She obviously believed part of his story, but not all of it. Harry hoped the conversation was at an end. His hands nervously twitched at the end of his robes. He needed some release again. The stress was too much. The touching was too much. Too many people with too many hands had touched the filth that was Harry Potter. He turned again to go through the door but was surprised to see Hermione planted firmly in the door next to Lavender.

"Harry," Hermione began, "what's going on with you?"

"What do you mean, 'Mione?"

"You're not the same. You've been avoiding Ron and I all term, well, I understand the Ron part at the moment. You rarely come down to the hall to eat. You left the Quidditch team… I just don't get it. If something is wrong you need to talk to us, well, at least me."

Harry sighed. He had tried talking to them, but Ron had been too preoccupied putting his hands down Hermione's skirt to pay him much heed. Ron had also been steadily avoiding Harry or just ignoring him all together and recently beat the bloody hell out of him. "Look, Hermione, I love you like a sister. I tried to talk to you guys about something not too long ago. It took me almost a whole week just to track you down. Once I did track you down, you two were too busy to give me even half of your attention. It's too late now, ok? I made my decision and now you are going to have to wait to find out just like everyone else."

His voice had gone a little colder than he intended, but it was true. They had a chance to listen and be his friends, but they had been too busy. He had decided he wanted Malfoy. Now they would have to deal with it or fuck off. He would miss them though. Hermione looked at him with watery eyes for a few minutes before she walked around him to find Ron. 'Damn, I made her cry… I really need some release.' With that in mind, he hurried out of the hall and quickly made it to his room, to his trunk and inevitably his sweet, dark release… his blade.

As he slowly cut a long line down his arm, all he could think about was his Draco. Oddly enough, it hurt more cutting this time. It distracted him still, but it wasn't taking away the pain like usual. Instead, he had additional pain to deal with now.

'Merlin, I need my Draco.'


End file.
